Lifetime of happiness and Goals!

All of us have dreams. All of us wish we could be someone we aren’t today.
Just like poor little Pinocchio, wishing he was a “real boy”. The question is; will a star grant our dreams? From what I have learned I think that if you wait for your dreams to come true on their own, it will be a long wait. On the other hand if you take charge and make things happen for yourself, it can go very quickly. In order to make your dreams come true you have to set goals for yourself, whether it be short term or long term, prioritizing your life is a great way to jump start that dream your chasing. Make sure you focus on your goal. Don’t let yourself be distracted by opportunities that pull you away from your dream, even if it seems too good to say no to, if it isn’t your dream it is not worth doing. Unless of course the offer is of the magnitude that it completely changes your dreams!

Things will not go as you hope, you will have setbacks and you might even notice that what you want now isn’t the same as what you wanted only a few months ago. That is okay!
Be ready to change, adapt and grow as a person and let your dreams grow as well.

When you’re worried about something, your thoughts start chasing each other round your head and don’t let up. You run the same scenarios through over and over, as if practicing them would make them turn out right. Sometimes they’re in the past, sometimes in the future, but in either case – worrying about them isn’t going to fix anything. It’s just going to keep your thoughts in a groove they can’t get out of, upset you, keep you awake at night, and limit your creative response to the situation, and distract you from your goals in life.

This was me last night, even tho I walk around with a smile on my face everyday some of the things I have going on in my life, keep me from thinking clearly and I get to feeling like my goals I want accomplished aren't going to happen. I get discouraged as a parent sometimes thinking am I doing a good enough job? am I too hard on my boys? do they have enough in life to make them happy? and even tho I laid in the bed thinking about all the negative things, I turned around and starting thinking about the positive things, I am in my boys life 100% of the time, I work extremely hard to make sure they won't see any kind of struggle, One thing I know is that a negative thought process will weigh you down and take a toll on you. I have said this before and I will say it again "Although you cannot control many things in this world, and especially other people, one important factor of happiness is accepting that which you cannot change. What you can change however, is how you feel. Even if things are bad, you can still be happy, you can still choose to smile, and you can still choose to see it as a test that you have to get through in order for things to get better."

Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

Til next time
xoxo

What went wrong?!?!

What went wrong in todays society? Is being a mother not the "it" thing to do anymore? the percentage rate for dead beat mothers is actually higher than then deadbeat fathers. Census figures show only 57 percent of moms required to pay child support 385,000 women out of a total of 674,000 give up some or all of the money they owe. That leaves some 289,000 "deadbeat" mothers out there, a fact that has barely been reported in the media.

What's even more sad is the women I come accross are just giving up not even trying to be the parent they are suppose to be. It's bad enough there are alot of children out here in the world without their fathers but now we have to add their mothers into the mix? I'm alot harder when it comes to terms with deadbeat mothers because it's our body we chose to bare the child for 9 long hard months to only give up and not try? Its a selfish move on their part. I had my first child when I was 17 years old summer of 2000 going into my senior year and I chose to have my child and I busted my ass to make sure he was taken care of and find it selfish, disrespectful and just pathetic for a mother to not want to nuture, protect, and watch her child grow up into anything they want to be in life. I cherish every moment with my kids I have 2 boys now 4 years apart and yes granted some days may be harder then some but I wouldnt trade them in for anything in the world.

The one thing I noticed is alot of these mothers have their priorities messed up. How can you not want to support your child but stay with your hair, nails and feet did, stay in the latest fashions and be at every party Monday-Sunday? This goes to the mothers out there that may have custody of their kids as well, but still aren't parenting their kids because they are gone more then they are home. I get it, we need breaks my boys go to their dads every other weekend and thats when I get my free time but every weekend? or hell some of them is even at the weekday parties, I make it a point to spend quality time with my boys, movie nights, we go outdoors and do activities, we have game nights etc all the little things that will make a difference when they get older, Im not saying all this to make it seem like im better then anyone cause I am far from it, but all I know is how you raise your children now will make a difference in how they act and raise their children in the future.

Til Next time
xoxo

Realize What You Have When you Have it!

This isn't a man bashing blog but im mainly speaking to my ladies out here only because I am a woman and I can relate when speaking in terms of a guy.. but this can go both ways cause us women mess up as well...

How often do we as women go back and forth with a man that we love in the hopes that he will one day be true, appreciate us, or just get his act together? Whatever the issue may be, we struggle with him in hopes of it coming into fruition but at last, it does not. After realizing that you are at fault as well for wasting so much time and energy on the relationship you are forced to put on your soldier of love armor and proceed into the jungles of the dating world.

There is no clear explanation as to why a man does not appreciate the woman he has until he no longer has her. It is as if it does not connect with them until much after. By then it is too late. She is no longer interested or has moved on. Some say this concept is human nature. Now, I am not talking about ALL men because obviously not all men are foolish but it remains a mystery on the ones who are.

There is a quote I posted that said: " One day he\she will wake up and realize how amazing you really were and when that day comes you'll be waking up next to someone who already knew!!

So cherish the one you are with, don't take anyone for granted and treat them as you would want to be treated because that woman name Karma!! She can be a cold bitch!!!!

Til Next Time
xoxo

Breaking Point!

Breaking point... everyone goes through them... but how do we move on.. how do we get passed the hurt, the pain, the stress, the anger, all of the emotions that comes with breaking down? In life we know that bad things will happen it is, unfortunately, a fact of l ife for everyone. Usually people break down because so much is piling up ontop of them to where they feel there is no escape, and no answer to their problem (s) but the one thing I know is you are stronger than your belief system... you can and will get through whatever it is your going through. You can't have victory without conflict, you can't have healing without sickness and you can't understand pleasure without pain.

I have alot going on in my life right now, to where I reached my breaking point this week. I have been here before, therefore I knew how to handle myself in the situation I am in. Before I would hide and shut people out of my life, I didn't want to deal with the world at all, but now I know that I can't do that, I lean on my friends shoulders to cry, to vent, to release some of the preasures that are being put upon me. Crying is one of my outlets.. I'll have a good cry and then I wipe away my tears, and I do what I have to do, my other outlet is writing, whether its in my blog or in my journal I write, it helps clear my mind and keeps me focused on what I need to do rather than what I rather be doing.

I am one who thinks she can fix everything, and if I can't then I worry or I stress myself out. After talking to a few people in my life they all seem to be telling me the same thing. "Evoney you need to learn to be selfish at times, think about yourself and your own well being first". As hard as this is for me im finally saying okay!

I know that if I want to move forward in life happy I need to release the old and let go of certain things in my past and current situations in order to achieve that ultimate goal.... Happiness!


Til Next Time
xoxo

People's Opinions..... Do we really care?

Wow, this is a tough one for all of us. What does it mean, exactly, not let someone "get" to us. It could literally mean, how I keep this person out of my friend yard; but in this context we're probably looking at something a little less dramatic. We're talking about not letting people anger you through either objectively immature, rude behavior, or something you can't stand about them that doesn't really point to a personality flaw, sometimes you just have to learn to brush people off. Granted some of these people with negative opinions can be extremely toxic.

The most important thing to remember is that you have the power to stop a toxic person. You do this by controlling your own actions and reactions. As you probably already know, you cannot control the actions of other people. But the good thing is you can control yourself and your life. You have the power to walk away from a toxic person and not allow them into your life anymore. Freedom is a wonderful and liberating experience. once you let someone's opinion of you be just that... their opinion you will feel ten times better.

Granted we are all human and we all have feelings and my first knee jerk reaction to someone with a negative opinion of me would be for me to tell them to "Fuck Off" but when you really think about it even saying remarks like that will still give them the power because they still effected you in some way shape or form, but instead just ignore them and continue doing you and being who you are. As long as you don't lose yourself in being wrapped up in what other people think, then you will be just fine. I know it's easier said than done, but when you think about it if all someone does is point out the negatives in everything you do, or always says mean things or acts in a negative manner all together than something is going on deep down inside with them, they aren't happy with themselves or their lives, they are just miserable people and they attack on the next to make them feel better or to make their lives seem so much better. But once you show these types of people that their words can't effect you anymore than you have won and that feeling to me is the best feeling in the world, to know that someone else can't effect how you are feeling.

So just remember someone's negative opinion is just that.... their opinion. Brush yourself off and keep going!

Til Next time
XoXo

Little Things Life Throws your way....

As I sit here I have so many things going through my head, some happy, some sad, some things that bother me, so this blog is gonna consist of different random topics.. Please feel free to comment .


When Life throws you a curve ball:

Too many times we think our happiness is based on our circumstances or situations that we find ourselves in. We think if everything is going well things are “ Good” and we are allowed to be happy. If things aren’t going good, then life is all “ Bad” and we cant find joy in anything that happens no matter how small. But, I have come to the conclusion that life is not meant to be that way. Life is what you make of it. Most of us have heard the saying “ When life throws you a lemon-you need to make lemonade”; meaning that when life is sour, and nothing seems to be going right, you can make the best out of that situation. Make lemonade!
Trials are going to come. Valleys and circumstances will come to us all. Whether you’re a Christian whether you are not. Life is just that, a road of ups and downs.

I try to keep a smile on my face at all times. Everything in my life isnt peaches n cream, I am a single mother of 2 boys with little to no help but I'm doing it, my kids have nice clothes on their backs, shoes on their feet a roof over their head and food to eat, & thats more than I can say for people who aren't in my situation, we are all human and get angry and upset from time to time, I have bills that I swear will never end or i'll never get out of the financial bind that I am in but I have learned not to let certain individuals get to me and certain circumstances hold me back. I have to keep moving and do the best I can and pray that everything will work out in the end.

Love & Happiness:

I am at a point in my life where I am content where things are at when it comes to my happiness. Granted things could be better but for the most part im not complaining I feel as long as I am smiling and I am content with the way things are going then anyone else's opinion doesn't even matter to me. I have love in my heart and I feel joyful and im just overall happy... someone close to me recently told me Love comes in different ways... he was right... you can't stop love from happening, when it comes and it's REAL then if it was meant to be it will be. I am soo used to pre planning things out, wanting to know the outcome of every situation and rushing things before its time.. but once I stopped, analyzed certain situations and starting taking things slowly everything started making alot more sense.

Single & Dating:

OMG!! Being single and dating in todays world is such a disaster.. at least for me it is... first of all what the hell is a date? I haven't been on one in sooo long and when you do get guys that are interested in you or claim to be, the first initial conversation is sexual?!?! That is such a turn off more than you know. Whatever happend with going to a nice movie and dinner then getting dropped back off and maybe hoping for a 2nd date? Now they be expecting you to give up the booty for a 10 dollar movie and maybe a 20-30 dollar meal.. Umm last time I checked I was not a hooker and If I was I wouldnt work for a free meal and a freakin movie...like are you serious? But that is even if you get asked out on a date... all these guys want to talk about is when can they come over? Ummm how about you can't... So I've pretty much given up on the whole dating thing and that one person who knows what it is... well.... knows what it is....

And remember Happiness is never stopping to think if you are....

Til Next Time
xoxo

Letting things get to you!

have had to deal with many things in my life ... most I have had absolutely no control over. Learning how to accept the things that cannot be changed can be difficult and quite painful.

Be strong and hold on! Understand things happen to everyone of us. Many of them are beyond our control. Whatever the situation may be, God has a way of giving us the courage we need to face whatever the giant is we are facing in our life. Grieve then give yourself time to heal. Be sensitive to your own needs. It's okay to feel pain and grieve. Don't hold it in or try to tuck it away, as though it never happened, for it will do more harm than good and will not go away. Instead, it will deepen and worsen, as it results in a destructive pattern in your life. There is a time for mourning, but there is also a time to release the pain.

Don't blame yourself. We all have battles, challenges and in many cases horrible situations you feel could have been prevented with the ifs. I blamed myself for the many actions of others and thought if I had have .... or .... they would not have done what was done. But in reality, they were the ones with the problem, and they were miserable in their own self. It took me a long time to realize it was not me - but them. Make a adamant choice to die to the thing(s) that seek to control your emotions and life. In other words, choose to let it go by not thinking on the thing(s) or situation(s). When you constantly think and meditate on the pain and/or negative situation, you will begin to feel heavy in heart, depressed and caught up in a cycle that will grow with intensity and not stop until it devours and destroys you, your life and everything around you. In other words your negative energy will start rubbing people the wrong way and it will drain the life out of you.

I've came to the conclusion that I can't change certain circumstances in my life, so I have to go with the flow and let certain situations be. I cannot change how other people think nor can I make someone change their ways. All I know is I can start with changing how I react to every situation I come accross. For every action there is a reaction, and I choose to react with a more positive approach. Being angry and bitter and depressed about every situation will take the life out of you. So why not wake up every morning happy and full of life. and just let things fall into place. I am in a more happy place where I am not letting the BS life throws our way get me down and I am doing what I need to do that makes me and happy as well as my two children.

Til Next time
xoxo

R.E.S.P.E.C.T.

The common phrase "treat people the way you want to be treated" asserts that by treating people the way you want to be treated, they will treat you the same way, right?

It seems simple enough, but there is a large percentage that demand respect but don't have any clue on how to give it. It's not a matter of someone liking or disliking you but just showing the same respect you would want someone to give you.

I like to live by the 3 R's:

Rspect for self
Respect for others
Responsibility for all your actions

The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, the education, the money, than circumstances, than failure, than success, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company, a church, a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We can’t change our past, we can’t change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We can’t change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I say from time to time that life is 10% of what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. And so is it with you. We are in charge of our attitudes.

How many times have you heard someone say, Life is not fair! It is not about whether life is fair or not; it is about the reality of what has happened. Life may not be fair, but life is life. Things will happen without your permission. You will find yourself in situations you didn't plan on being a part of. Yes, you will be handed a left turn when you had planned on going straight. But if life knocks you down you have to be able to get back up again. But when you are handed a left turn instead of the right turn you wanted to take try to keep a positive outlook on life remember to treat the people who care about you with respect. You can't be 100% all the time but pushing the people who care about and your situation isnt going to make the situation go away or make it any better if anything it will make it worse, pretty soon you will have no one to lean on when you need to. sometimes the people who are about you may not have the answers you are looking for but the fact they are there for moral support is what matters the most. so again remember to always treat people with the same exact respect you would want them to treat you with.

Til Next Time
xoxo

Is it Real or Is it Fake?

Do you really know when someone your dealing with is being real or being fake? So many people contradict themselves stating that they are real and they keep it 100 etc. But do they really?

Keeping it real means: Staying true to yourself, your faith, your life and constantly seeking the truth. So with this said if you absolutely don't like somone or may not care for someone don't do them any favors by smiling up in their face cause all it shows at the end of the day is your fake and aren't trustworthy. Loyalty is huge in my book. staying true and being honest. I am a very loyal and trustworthy person and I feel if I am loyal and honest towards you, I deserve the same exact respect. It gets under my skin when someone knows they don't care for you and they aren't trying to mess with you on a friendly level but continue to act like they are. Don't act like your coo with me but act standoffish or distant just be "Real". How do you react to situations like this? Do you just sit back and continue to let it happen? Or do you confront them about it? Seems like a lose lose situation to me. I feel whether the outcome doesn't pan out the way you would have hoped to still speak what is on your mind, there is no need in boddling up mixed feelings for them to burst out at the wrong time. But always stay true to yourself. Don't continue to be in a situation you know you don't want to be in.

Now and days you can only trust within yourself, its sad but extremely true. I have had my own bloodline stab me in my back, I have had friendships that lasted for 10 plus years crumble to the ground all due to the fact people are not true, and were "fake" from the start. It can take years to build trust but only seconds to break. Someone once told me for every minute you stay angry with someone, you lose 60 seconds of happiness that you can't get back. I will not allow someone else's actions to continue to bring my spirits down and make me unhappy. You don't have to love me, you don't even have to like me but the one thing you will do is repsect me especially if I am giving you that same respect.

I have said this time and time before but You have to trust yourself to know more than what you think you do. Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.and most importantly stay true to yourself, if you don't you can't expect the next person to.

Til Next Time
xoxo

Staying True Yourself

Staying true to yourself can be challenging at times. You can find yourself being someone you actually despise. Worry about your character, not your reputation because your character is who you are & your reputation is what people think you are.

Most people don't know who they are. That's why they lie. They're afraid someone else will figure it out before they do

I'm not always as confident as I seem ... there are many nights and many days when all I want is to be held. I love being held. Always. Sometimes I don't want to talk about what is bothering me ... sometimes I just want a hug ... someone who will let me cry. I like when boys cry in front of me -- when people aren't afraid to show what they're really feeling. I don't like when people run from their true feelings because it doesn't do anyone any good. I wear my heart on my sleeve, but I am not naive. I know what it feels like to be completely broken and I am all too familiar with what it means to be hurt. I know what it's like to see something funny and not laugh. I've been taken advantage of, used, and abused. My feelings have been blatantly disregarded. But I still believe that all people are good at heart ... and my trust in people has not diminished. To be completely honest, I hope it never does.

If you don't set a baseline standard for what you'll accept in life, you'll find it's easy to slip into behaviors and attitudes or a quality of life that's far below what you deserve, meaning you have to Set standards for every area of your life. Staying true to them will assure you that your life will be fulfilled. The last thing anyone wants, is to look back and say, "I wish I would have done _______ differently."

Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony which only means that The easy part for starting any task, is saying you will do it. The true challenge lies in acting on and completing it. Whether you are looking to accomplish a specific goal, or something else you truly desire, the key is to make sure your mind, body and actions are working towards the same goal. As you continue to work towards that goal, you will feel the greatest amount of happiness and self satisfaction.

So when you see yourself slipping away and not being true to yourself always remember that you want to be a first class version of yourself not a second rate version of someone else. dont let anyone steer you away from being you. know that people will talk regardless but as long as you know you are you things will fall into place. Have you ever realized people say that you've changed only because you are no longer living your life their way. Being happy doesn't mean everything is perfect. It means you've decided to look beyond the imperfections.

I live by the 3 R's:
-Respect for self
-Respect for others
-Responsibility for all your actions

When you lose, don't lose the lesson, remember not getting what you want in life can be a wonderful stroke of luck, Judge your success by what you'd had to give in order to get it.

Til Next time
xoxo

When Life knocks you down

Sometimes life can’t get better, you’re on top of the world, smiling from ear to ear, everything falls into place and it feels like we are invincible. It’s an awesome feeling to be high on life like that, those moments and times of peak happiness!
Other times can be less pleasant, sometimes even agonizing, and nothing seems to go right. We want to burst out in tears, come up with irrational ideas and sometimes completely abandon all hope and faith.

Although you cannot control many things in this world, and especially other people, one important factor of happiness is accepting that which you cannot change. What you can change however, is how you feel. Even if things are bad, you can still be happy, you can still choose to smile, and you can still choose to see it as a test that you have to get through in order for things to get better.

I found out that the things that hurt us the most can become the fuel that propels us toward our destiny. It will either make you bitter or it will make you better.

As I laid in bed last night in deep thought about my life and what obsticles I have overcame and what obsticles I need to climb over I found myseld in tears. When done crying I sat up and said no more. I can't have victory without conflict, I am stronger than this, I have been through too much to let life whoop me again and this too shall pass.


Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

Before I end this I want to share one of my facorite sermons by Bishop T.D. Jakes on letting go.

There are people who can walk away from you. And hear me when I tell you this! When people can walk away from you: let them walk. I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone. When people can walk away from you let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left. People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can't make them stay. LET THEM GO! And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person it just means that their part in the story is over. And you've got to know when people's part in your story is over so that you don't keep trying to raise the dead. You've got to know when it's dead. You've got to know when it's over. Let me tell you something. I've got the gift of goodbye. It's the tenth spiritual gift, I believe in goodbye. It's not that I'm hateful, it's that I'm faithful, and I know whatever God means for me to have He'll give it to me. And if it takes too much sweat I don't need it. Stop begging people to stay. LET THEM GO!If you are holding on to something that doesn't belong to you and was never intended for your life, then you need to...LET THEM GO!If you are holding on to past hurts and pains...LET THEM GO!If someone can't treat you right, love you back, and see your worth...LET THEM GO!If someone has angered you...LET THEM GO!If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge...LET THEM GO!If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction...LET THEM GO!If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs or talents...LET THEM GO!If you have a bad attitude...LET THEM GO!If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better...LET THEM GO!If you are struggling with the healing of a broken relationship....... LET THEM GO!If you keep trying to help someone who won't even try to help themselves...LET THEM GO!If you're feeling depressed and stressed...LET THEM GO!Get Right or Get Left, think about it, and then...LET THEM GO!

I know life can be hard at times .. trust me when I say this I know. So when life knocks you down, your already in a perfect position to pray and know that God will not give you anything you can't handle.

Til Next Time
xoxo

Is it Love or Lust?

Are you in love, or is it lust? Love and lust are incredibly intertwined. Lust is ground zero for hormones -- it's nature's way of bringing the opposite sexes together to mate. In fact, without lust, it's doubtful that love between a man and a woman would have a chance to prosper at all.

My opinion the desire to love is to give and the desire to lust is to get.

It is a very common question, "How can I tell I'm in love?", but it is not an easy question to answer. What feels like love to one person may be nothing more than attraction to another. Some people fall in and out of love quickly and often while others are never really in love as much as they are in lust. This can get confusing, You are overwhelmed with all sorts of new feelings. What is love? What makes you want a romantic relationship with one person and not another? How does your heart choose a partner? Why does love end? These questions can't be easily answered.

One of the most confusing feelings is lust. Lust is a very powerful, very intense feeling of physical attraction toward another person. Lust is mainly sexual in nature - the attraction is superficial based on instant chemistry rather than genuine caring. Usually we lust after people we do not know well, people we still feel comfortable fantasizing about. It is very common for people to confuse lust for love. But why? What is it about lust and love that make them so easy to mix up? If lust is all about sex, how can a relationship without sex be about lust? Lust is about physical attraction and acting ONLY on physical attraction. Love is about much more than that. Yet many of us confuse an intense attraction for some sort if divine love.

Lust is clearly not love. Love is based on more than just physical attraction. Sure, attraction is a factor, but love goes deeper than that. Love is based on caring, friendship, commitment and trust. When you are in love it is as if you have your best most trusted friend at your side and you feel physically attracted to them. It is the best of both worlds! Love is a shared feeling between two people who have a vested interest in one anothers happiness. Love is not about jealousy. It is not about conflict. It is not about testing. Love is a positive feeling. If it is tainted by mistrust, jealousy, insecurity or spitefulness it is not really love but merely a pale copy. Love is the total surrender of your heart to another person with the security of knowing they will treat it better than you will. Love should feel good. It should not feel bad. Love should make you want to be a better person, it should not lead you to do something self destructive. Love is not demanding of your spirit but lifts it and makes it glow. Love is a good thing. Anything less is lust, deep friendship or attraction. So the sappiness aside, the question remains, how can you tell you are in love?

True love to me is when your heart and your mind are on the same page. and that an immature love says I love you because I need you, but a mature love says they need you because they love you.

So remember let your heart guide you...but listen carefully because it whispers..

Til next time
xoxo

Giiiirl did you hear?

I heard......Did you hear.....She said......OHHHH, Susie such and such's husband......
Why? Why do people find it so necessary to talk about others?

I know this is a question that will most likely go into the history books. Were are all guilty of it from time to time, but what gets to me and what gets under my skin is how certain people find it entertaining to talk about others constantly, not realizing how stupid they really look from the outside looking in. What do you get out of belittling someone, or talking about someone's business just to make yourself look good? When 9 times out of 10 you ain't got shit going for yourself. I have noticed in my 27 years of living on this earth that people will talk about you regardless, whether your are doing good and are successful or may have a few flaws and may not be doing well in your life at the moment. You know what they say misery loves company and boy is whoever thought of that saying was right. Miserable, lonely, bitter, angry people are the ones who always have something negative to say about the next person, but how you react to gossip or rumors is what sets you asisde from everyone else.

I have found myself guilty of talking about someone but usually when they make me mad is when I will talk about someone, but never could understand how someone could just outright talk bad or even make shit up to make themselves look good. I have also been on the other end where people have talked about me, I have been labeled everything under the sun mostly that im a bitch. I can get bitchy and if you have only gotten to know my bitchy side then you really didn't get a chance to know me because to know me is to love me. Usually when you pre judge you don't get to know someone, I too have been guilty of pre judging someone before getting to know them and when I actually take the time to get to know them they are really cool people. I am a sweetheart to the core but once I feel betrayed, or if someone makes me mad enough the bitch switch gets turned on and its nothing nice. but im usually a person who gets pre judged then once they get to know me they be like oh she isnt so bad. I have came to notice that Seattle has some messy ass people, male and female and maaan this has to stop. There is no reason for the town to have to know everyone's business. I often find out people's business I don't even know. and its sad, pathetic and ridiculous.

There is a quote I love to say from time to time:

" The hardest thing about business, is minding your own"

So in closing, If you find yourself talking about someone, stop and think about if it was you that was being talked about and see if you don't change your tune.

Til Next Time
xoxo

2010 Im Here With Open Arms!

New Year is a time when many people reflect and evaluate their life and look forward to implementing changes to move towards a better lifestyle. New Years resolutions are often made as people try to deal with the external aspects of their life, for example, bad habits, better lifestyle, or improved relationships.Reflecting on life and making plans for improving life is a good process to work through anytime, whether it be a new year or not. However, one of the reasons many people fail quickly putting their good intentions into action is because they don't understand that there is a foundational truth that underlies all change, which is, that in order to embrace the new, we need to release the old. If you want to go forward in your life, you need to let go of the things in your past that will impede or even prevent you moving on. This can be likened to trying to walk forward while looking backwards; progress is less than satisfactory.

In life bad stuff happens. It is, unfortunately, a fact of life for everyone. Majority of people don't realize however, that it is their response to the events in their lives that have a lasting impact, not the event itself. When something bad happens, it is natural to go through a time of remorse, regret and sorrow. However, in order to move forward you need to arrive at a place where you consciously make a decision to let go and move on. This involves making a decision to stop re-living and dwelling on that event over and over again in your memory. If you don't decide to move on, those events and set-backs in your life start to become your identity. By continuing to dwell on events and set-backs a door is opened for resentment, hurt, grudges, self pity, excuses, and bitterness to take root in your heart and life. This starts to build walls of separation. We think we are protecting ourselves, but we are not. We are, in fact, shutting other people out of our lives, resulting in becoming increasingly alone, isolated, warped, and imprisoned by our own bitterness. It is these walls that keep our dreams and good intentions from coming to pass.

The key to unlocking the door of our self made prison is forgiveness. We do not have the power to change the past whether it be events or situations. Forgiveness cut us loose and frees us to move forward and create a new future. Forgiveness is not just about the other person. Very often we need to forgive ourselves for our mistakes and disappointments and let ourselves off the hook too. As you move into a new year, I encourage you to let go of the things that are holding you back. Stop carrying that extra baggage-set yourself free to make a new start. Forgive people who have hurt you; let go of the things that have been done to you. Get bitterness out of your life! Forgive yourself, and then let it go. As you move forward into the new year, free of old baggage, you will start catching glimpses of fresh hope and of a new future.

I have had what I call a interesting year in 2009, some good things have happend but I have had my fair share of terrible events that have surpassed my good events. I have lost long term friendships at which I was beating myself up about, but then I sat down and analyzed the situation and decided things happen for a reason and I am a strong believer in that. nothing happens in life unless it was meant to happen, so these particular people just weren't meant to make it to my future and I am content with that, because I have so many good people in my corner right now where I couldn't be nothing more than happy. I have lost loved ones and even tho it still hurts like hell I am moving forward in life and not letting the pain that I feel hold me back because my loved one wouldn't have wanted me to sit back and cry and be sad, he would have wanted me to live like him, happy, joyful, positive and I intend on being nothing more than that. it has been a long year as far as my personal life goes. but I am at the point in my life where I can actually say without any doubt in my mind that my old baggage with my past relationship I am finally free of. It has been hard but I am at a place where I am no longer dwelling on what went wrong instead im focusing on spending my energy on moving forward. I am looking forward to see what 2010 has in store for me.

So in closing just remember you are responsible for your life, you can't keep blaming somebody else for your dysfunction. Life is really about moving on.

Til Next Time
xoxo

THIS LIL THING CALLED LIFE!

How many times have you heard someone say, Life is not fair! It is not about whether life is fair or not; it is about the reality of what has happened. Life may not be fair, but life is life. Things will happen without your permission. You will find yourself in situations you didn't plan on being a part of. Yes, you will be handed a left turn when you had planned on going straight. But if life knocks you down you have to be able to get back up again.

It ain't about how hard ya' hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward

I cannot accurately count the number of times in which I have been knocked down in my life, either emotionally, physically, or financially. So far, I've been able to get back up every time. Sometimes slowly, but always, back up.

Personally, I have found that the true challenge comes in realizing that every setback, regardless of its apparent severity, is temporary.
that as long as you do not allow setbacks to become permanent or allow them to kill your optimism. As long as you are willing to change your approach and to "get up", you can and will prevail.

Your exactly where you are in your own thoughts and actions.
This can be quite humbling and uncomfortable, because it causes you to assess your own accountability. Most of the time, you know in your heart what you MUST do, yet fail to consistently follow through on the actions that you KNOW are necessary.
you must adopt the viewpoint that all setbacks are really lessons in disguise. How quickly you learn the lesson will determine just how long the setback will exist for you.

Even with me saying all this to you. I too have setbacks. I am actually going through it as I type. I have family issues, and alot of other things and I have my breaking points too and after talking to friends who mean the world to me this morning they re opened my eyes and gave me hope again. I tend to over analyze everything in my life. I think too much and I literally drive myself crazy with my thoughts. But I am only human as is everyone who has gotten to the point where they didnt think they were gonna make it out of the situation they are in. keep a positive attitude, a good friend of mine told me today that he looks at life as whatever happens in life is gonna happen whether he likes it or not and he has no choice but to live thru it and make it the most comfortable for him and his... and that couldnt be more true. So Im working on letting things flow more naturally and not stress about things I have no control over. I leave it in god hands.

The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, the education, the money, than circumstances, than failure, than success, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company, a church, a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We can’t change our past, we can’t change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We can’t change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I say from time to time that life is 10% of what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. And so is it with you. We are in charge of our attitudes.

Til next time
God Bless.... xoxo

Is being friend with benefits all what its cracked up to be?

You're drunk. Or lonely. Or just plain bored. And you've already got this guy programmed into your phone. So should you try to turn your best buddy into your bed buddy?


To some, it may seem like an ideal relationship, less stressful than an affair, longer lived than a fling or that elusive one-night stand. You can even sit around in your sweats and watch reruns together, feeling like everything is A'ok. The relationships tend to have little romantic passion, but stir the same fears that stalk lovers: namely, that one person will fall harder than the other

Do people still use the terminology ‘friends with benefits? Isn't Fuck Buddy the preffered name for this relationship, I have even heard the terminology "Sneak" And How long can you really honestly be "friends with benefits" or "fuck buddies"


I have had friends with benefits relationships and some turned out fine and some not so well. I had one not long ago last summer which I called him my lil summer friend and it was fine we kicked it did what we did but didn't get feelings envolved. The relationship ended just like it started, fast and quick. There are no hard feelings, I am still to this day coo with this man and we talk all the time, we just don't have that type of relationship anymore. I have also done the FWB with someone where I have caught feelings and it has happend to where the guy caught feelings for me as well. So in my opinion sometimes having a FWB isnt even worth it unless you set the staandards from the gate, and even with that said usually when sex is involved 90% of the time someone is gonna catch feelings.

I would love to hear feed back, what is your take on friends with benefits?

Til next time
xoxo

One Life To Live

We all got one life to live, one life to live our lives to the up most fullest. so that we don't have to look back and think about the coulda, shoulda, woulda's, because you never know when it is your day to leave this here earth.

There is a poem I absolutely love and I tend to pull it out to remind myself not to let things get to me:

Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so love the people who treat you right, pray for the ones who don't, and believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance, take it, if it changes your life, let it, nobody said it was gonna be easy, they just promised it would be worth it.

And thats just it, you can't live your life regretting things you should have done, or done better. You have to brush your shoulders off and keep on moving cause when I say this I mean it, your life is not guranteed. and when you leave this here earth you want to at least leave a mark of good standing. Just last February I lost a really good friend of mine as well as a good friend to many others. and he was the most upstanding guy I knew. He always had a positive outlook on everything, whenever I was down and out about a situation and needed a voice of reasoning I would call him. He did alot for his community and worked with at risk youth. and his life was tragically taken from us all. That right there goes to show you that your life is not promised, he lived a good and honest life and now he is gone. His legacy will still be with us. But damn it hurts like hell to know I don't have my friend to laugh with, to cry with, and to talk to.

I just recently found out that a close friend of mines husband was ran over by a drunk driver this past Sunday on purpose, because why? Because of his nationality? because they were in his way even tho they had the right away to walk? because he was a angry bitter person who decided he wanted to take someone else's life. He ran my friends husband over 3 times, I repeat 3 times. and then drove off and my friend had to watch her husband die in front of her. He was a very upstanding guy, was a good brother, friend and husband, and his 30 years on this earth was cut short.

So when things of this nature happens around me it makes me think maybe I don't need to stress as much about this situation, or get overly angry at that situation, and just live life to the fullest and not let pettyness of others get to me as much.

As I sit here in deep thought I have realized that I have made mistakes in my life and let people take advantage of me, I've excepted way less than I deserve. But I have learned from my bad choices and even tho there are some things I will never get back or people who will never be sorry, I know better next time and I refuse to settle for anything less than what I deserve.
As analyze situations that have occured in my lifetime whether its envolving friendships or relationships I realize I have came out on top, I have gone through my fair share of drama and I refuse to let anyone bring my spirits down and take me to a place I don't want to ever go back to again. So I have made a pact with myself that I will not allow anyone else's bad energy effect my positive energy.


when you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. So maybe you should try to live your life so that when you die, you are the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.

Because life is too short to be anything but happy!

Til next time
xoxo

Another bad situation!

Do you ever ask yourself why am I always in yet another situation I rather not be in? Do you always find your self in some sort of drama? Finacial problem? Or just in a situation you rather not be in?



If you answered yes, than this post is for you!



Sometimes it feels hopeless, I know. You're trying to form a new good habit, but it's hard. It's hard for a lot reasons, but here's one: You might be putting yourself in situations that "pull" for the bad habit. Situations are extremely powerful. If we find ourselves in a situation that is maneuvering us into doing something that we'd rather not, we have to resist!



Attitudes predict behavior and certain situations can be powerful.



When it comes to changing bad habits, the power of the situation needs to be considered. Let’s think about this for a moment. Where do you do the bad habits that you do?



If you consistantly find yourself caught up in some sort of drama, you have to sit back and analyze what the problem is.. and once you do this you may figure out it is you! I hear alot about people having haters, or they are drama free. but you really don't have to let everyone know you have haters. who wants to brag about people hating them, brag about how much you are loved. and if you are in all actuality "drama" free then you don't need utter it out your mouth every chance you get.

Im not saying there aren't people in the world who hate on people for what they have, or what they don't have, or who they are with, etc. but it relys on you , on how you are going to react to this type of negativity. The biggest thing you can do to someone who has alot of hatred in their heart is killing them with kindness. Like kandi says fly above all the hatred.

If you consistantly are finding yourself in situations where your not being finanacially smart you have to again stop and analyze the situation. First and foremost Business before Pleasure, that is a must. so what you need to do is sit down and prioritize your priorities and if going out, or shopping, etc is more important than paying bills then you have a serious problem on your hands. What people need to understand is you will be way better off if you just do it right the first time. these clubs are not going anywhere so if there is a party this weekend there will be another next weekend or the weekend after, same with clothes or whatever else you may feel you need at that moment it will be there when you are able to afford it cause in my opinion that outfit you just broke yourself to buy isnt goin to pay your rent and that party you just had to go to isnt gonna stop you from getting evicted, lights turned off etc. so prioritize your responsibilities and see that you don't come out on top!

So in closing I just want to say once again. Prioritize prioritize prioritize!!! And think about the outcome of every situation before you do it, and see if you don't come out on top!

Til next time
xoxo

Fakeassness!!!!!

Fake people are people that are not real they always try to deceive you and make you think that they are the real deal. With fake people you can never see the light because when you are staring into their eyes it's always dark and never bright, fake people are like mirrors you can see right through them they are always lying to you but you already know it's a scam. Fake people are always trying to be something that they are not, but when you get a good look at them you realize that they don't look no where near as hot.

In my opinion fakeness is running rampid, especially in our town. Females around town are faker than the hair on their heads, the males are running rampid with that Bitchassness disease.. and its ridiculous. Everyone says they keep it 100, but do they really? Me personally am tired of hearing people say how real they are, or they keep it 100 but then you find out different. what Exactly is keeping it 100? Keeping it real?

Keeping it real means: Staying true to yourself, your faith, your life and constantly seeking the truth.

What puzzles me is when someone knows they don't like you, or they may not care for you but will smile up in your face. I have females and even dudes that I know have talked about me, but will smile up in my face when they see me out, and some even break their necks to speak. My question is why? If I don't care for someone one im not going to speak or even act like I like you.

Now with all that said, there is a what you call being cordial with someone but alot of people miscontrue the meaning of cordial with being fake.

Cordial is when: your warm, sincere, friendly, and is not to be mistaken with being fake. I have certain people I do not care for but we have mutual friends so when were all together I am cordial meaning I will speak and carry on with my business. You don't have to carry on a conversation when being cordial with someone and smile up in their face like you are friends. because thats when being "fake" comes into play.

I have a saying I like to use: Trust can take years to build, but only seconds to break.

I love this saying because when I befriend you and trust you it means something to me, so when you are smiling in my face and being fake, it doesnt matter how long I have had you in my life, its a wrap, all that trust that was built throughout the years will go right out the window. I have observed when speaking to several friends that alot of fakeness is going on within their group of close knit friends, that has me shaking my head because you would think that because they are "close" to you that will not talk about you, cause harm to you etc. Now and days you can only trust within yourself, its sad but extremely true. I have had my own bloodline stab me in my back, I have had friendships that lasted for 10 plus years crumble to the ground all due to the fact people are not true, and were "fake" from the start.


'have you ever realized that when .. people say you’ve changed it’s just because you’ve stopped living your life ... their way. You cannot live your life trying to mold yourself to opinions or expectations of others. They may be happy if you do, but you’ll be miserable.

You have to trust yourself to know more than what you think you do. Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.

and most importantly stay true to yourself, if you don't you can't expect the next person to!

Til Next Time
xoxo

Loyalty

Loyalty.. What exactly is loyalty? The definition of loyalty is: The state or quality of being loyal ie; a feeling or attitude of devoted attachment.

In my opinion qualities of being loyal are:
* Trueness
* Faithfulness
* fidelty

Loyalty is huge in my book. staying true, being honest. I am a very loyal and trustworthy person and I feel if I am loyal and honest towards you, I deserve the same exact respect. But I have had to learn in my lifetime everyone doesn't have my best interest at heart. Everyone isn't me. I have had a couple failed long term friendships that are now deceased, some of which I was being loyal towards them and certain situations arised where I am no longer friends with certain people and now no longer friends with whom I broke my neck to be loyal towards. Talk about a slap in the face. But as I got older I learned from that. But even with that said I still am a very trusting person so if I befriend you it must mean something to me. and I again had to learn the hard way with more friendships and relationships, in result of all this I was becoming a angry person, bitter even and just wasn't myself.

Someone once told me for every minute you stay angry with someone, you lose 60 seconds of happiness that you can't get back.

I couldn't agree more because when your angry with someone it only seems to only hurt you in the long run. Anger is a natural feeling, there are people in this world who do things that make you angry. The point is what do you do with the angry feelings? Examine your feelings, why am I so angry? What can I learn from this? What do I need to do to make this anger into something positive. We should never ignore our feelings or the situation that brought them about. But we can change our actions, and work thru to happiness.

Sometimes people hang on to certain things because of their loyalty to that person but I have learned that you have to do what is best for you and always stay true to you . If walking away is something you have to do in order to do so then walk away.. let it go.. letting go doesnt necessarily mean you are weak it just means that you were strong enough to let something that is no longer good for you go.

Always remain loyal to yourself first and foremost before trying to be loyal to the next person!

Til next time
xoxo