People's Opinions..... Do we really care?

Wow, this is a tough one for all of us. What does it mean, exactly, not let someone "get" to us. It could literally mean, how I keep this person out of my friend yard; but in this context we're probably looking at something a little less dramatic. We're talking about not letting people anger you through either objectively immature, rude behavior, or something you can't stand about them that doesn't really point to a personality flaw, sometimes you just have to learn to brush people off. Granted some of these people with negative opinions can be extremely toxic.

The most important thing to remember is that you have the power to stop a toxic person. You do this by controlling your own actions and reactions. As you probably already know, you cannot control the actions of other people. But the good thing is you can control yourself and your life. You have the power to walk away from a toxic person and not allow them into your life anymore. Freedom is a wonderful and liberating experience. once you let someone's opinion of you be just that... their opinion you will feel ten times better.

Granted we are all human and we all have feelings and my first knee jerk reaction to someone with a negative opinion of me would be for me to tell them to "Fuck Off" but when you really think about it even saying remarks like that will still give them the power because they still effected you in some way shape or form, but instead just ignore them and continue doing you and being who you are. As long as you don't lose yourself in being wrapped up in what other people think, then you will be just fine. I know it's easier said than done, but when you think about it if all someone does is point out the negatives in everything you do, or always says mean things or acts in a negative manner all together than something is going on deep down inside with them, they aren't happy with themselves or their lives, they are just miserable people and they attack on the next to make them feel better or to make their lives seem so much better. But once you show these types of people that their words can't effect you anymore than you have won and that feeling to me is the best feeling in the world, to know that someone else can't effect how you are feeling.

So just remember someone's negative opinion is just that.... their opinion. Brush yourself off and keep going!

Til Next time
XoXo

Little Things Life Throws your way....

As I sit here I have so many things going through my head, some happy, some sad, some things that bother me, so this blog is gonna consist of different random topics.. Please feel free to comment .


When Life throws you a curve ball:

Too many times we think our happiness is based on our circumstances or situations that we find ourselves in. We think if everything is going well things are “ Good” and we are allowed to be happy. If things aren’t going good, then life is all “ Bad” and we cant find joy in anything that happens no matter how small. But, I have come to the conclusion that life is not meant to be that way. Life is what you make of it. Most of us have heard the saying “ When life throws you a lemon-you need to make lemonade”; meaning that when life is sour, and nothing seems to be going right, you can make the best out of that situation. Make lemonade!
Trials are going to come. Valleys and circumstances will come to us all. Whether you’re a Christian whether you are not. Life is just that, a road of ups and downs.

I try to keep a smile on my face at all times. Everything in my life isnt peaches n cream, I am a single mother of 2 boys with little to no help but I'm doing it, my kids have nice clothes on their backs, shoes on their feet a roof over their head and food to eat, & thats more than I can say for people who aren't in my situation, we are all human and get angry and upset from time to time, I have bills that I swear will never end or i'll never get out of the financial bind that I am in but I have learned not to let certain individuals get to me and certain circumstances hold me back. I have to keep moving and do the best I can and pray that everything will work out in the end.

Love & Happiness:

I am at a point in my life where I am content where things are at when it comes to my happiness. Granted things could be better but for the most part im not complaining I feel as long as I am smiling and I am content with the way things are going then anyone else's opinion doesn't even matter to me. I have love in my heart and I feel joyful and im just overall happy... someone close to me recently told me Love comes in different ways... he was right... you can't stop love from happening, when it comes and it's REAL then if it was meant to be it will be. I am soo used to pre planning things out, wanting to know the outcome of every situation and rushing things before its time.. but once I stopped, analyzed certain situations and starting taking things slowly everything started making alot more sense.

Single & Dating:

OMG!! Being single and dating in todays world is such a disaster.. at least for me it is... first of all what the hell is a date? I haven't been on one in sooo long and when you do get guys that are interested in you or claim to be, the first initial conversation is sexual?!?! That is such a turn off more than you know. Whatever happend with going to a nice movie and dinner then getting dropped back off and maybe hoping for a 2nd date? Now they be expecting you to give up the booty for a 10 dollar movie and maybe a 20-30 dollar meal.. Umm last time I checked I was not a hooker and If I was I wouldnt work for a free meal and a freakin movie...like are you serious? But that is even if you get asked out on a date... all these guys want to talk about is when can they come over? Ummm how about you can't... So I've pretty much given up on the whole dating thing and that one person who knows what it is... well.... knows what it is....

And remember Happiness is never stopping to think if you are....

Til Next Time
xoxo

Letting things get to you!

have had to deal with many things in my life ... most I have had absolutely no control over. Learning how to accept the things that cannot be changed can be difficult and quite painful.

Be strong and hold on! Understand things happen to everyone of us. Many of them are beyond our control. Whatever the situation may be, God has a way of giving us the courage we need to face whatever the giant is we are facing in our life. Grieve then give yourself time to heal. Be sensitive to your own needs. It's okay to feel pain and grieve. Don't hold it in or try to tuck it away, as though it never happened, for it will do more harm than good and will not go away. Instead, it will deepen and worsen, as it results in a destructive pattern in your life. There is a time for mourning, but there is also a time to release the pain.

Don't blame yourself. We all have battles, challenges and in many cases horrible situations you feel could have been prevented with the ifs. I blamed myself for the many actions of others and thought if I had have .... or .... they would not have done what was done. But in reality, they were the ones with the problem, and they were miserable in their own self. It took me a long time to realize it was not me - but them. Make a adamant choice to die to the thing(s) that seek to control your emotions and life. In other words, choose to let it go by not thinking on the thing(s) or situation(s). When you constantly think and meditate on the pain and/or negative situation, you will begin to feel heavy in heart, depressed and caught up in a cycle that will grow with intensity and not stop until it devours and destroys you, your life and everything around you. In other words your negative energy will start rubbing people the wrong way and it will drain the life out of you.

I've came to the conclusion that I can't change certain circumstances in my life, so I have to go with the flow and let certain situations be. I cannot change how other people think nor can I make someone change their ways. All I know is I can start with changing how I react to every situation I come accross. For every action there is a reaction, and I choose to react with a more positive approach. Being angry and bitter and depressed about every situation will take the life out of you. So why not wake up every morning happy and full of life. and just let things fall into place. I am in a more happy place where I am not letting the BS life throws our way get me down and I am doing what I need to do that makes me and happy as well as my two children.

Til Next time
xoxo

R.E.S.P.E.C.T.

The common phrase "treat people the way you want to be treated" asserts that by treating people the way you want to be treated, they will treat you the same way, right?

It seems simple enough, but there is a large percentage that demand respect but don't have any clue on how to give it. It's not a matter of someone liking or disliking you but just showing the same respect you would want someone to give you.

I like to live by the 3 R's:

Rspect for self
Respect for others
Responsibility for all your actions

The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, the education, the money, than circumstances, than failure, than success, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company, a church, a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We can’t change our past, we can’t change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We can’t change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I say from time to time that life is 10% of what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. And so is it with you. We are in charge of our attitudes.

How many times have you heard someone say, Life is not fair! It is not about whether life is fair or not; it is about the reality of what has happened. Life may not be fair, but life is life. Things will happen without your permission. You will find yourself in situations you didn't plan on being a part of. Yes, you will be handed a left turn when you had planned on going straight. But if life knocks you down you have to be able to get back up again. But when you are handed a left turn instead of the right turn you wanted to take try to keep a positive outlook on life remember to treat the people who care about you with respect. You can't be 100% all the time but pushing the people who care about and your situation isnt going to make the situation go away or make it any better if anything it will make it worse, pretty soon you will have no one to lean on when you need to. sometimes the people who are about you may not have the answers you are looking for but the fact they are there for moral support is what matters the most. so again remember to always treat people with the same exact respect you would want them to treat you with.

Til Next Time
xoxo

Is it Real or Is it Fake?

Do you really know when someone your dealing with is being real or being fake? So many people contradict themselves stating that they are real and they keep it 100 etc. But do they really?

Keeping it real means: Staying true to yourself, your faith, your life and constantly seeking the truth. So with this said if you absolutely don't like somone or may not care for someone don't do them any favors by smiling up in their face cause all it shows at the end of the day is your fake and aren't trustworthy. Loyalty is huge in my book. staying true and being honest. I am a very loyal and trustworthy person and I feel if I am loyal and honest towards you, I deserve the same exact respect. It gets under my skin when someone knows they don't care for you and they aren't trying to mess with you on a friendly level but continue to act like they are. Don't act like your coo with me but act standoffish or distant just be "Real". How do you react to situations like this? Do you just sit back and continue to let it happen? Or do you confront them about it? Seems like a lose lose situation to me. I feel whether the outcome doesn't pan out the way you would have hoped to still speak what is on your mind, there is no need in boddling up mixed feelings for them to burst out at the wrong time. But always stay true to yourself. Don't continue to be in a situation you know you don't want to be in.

Now and days you can only trust within yourself, its sad but extremely true. I have had my own bloodline stab me in my back, I have had friendships that lasted for 10 plus years crumble to the ground all due to the fact people are not true, and were "fake" from the start. It can take years to build trust but only seconds to break. Someone once told me for every minute you stay angry with someone, you lose 60 seconds of happiness that you can't get back. I will not allow someone else's actions to continue to bring my spirits down and make me unhappy. You don't have to love me, you don't even have to like me but the one thing you will do is repsect me especially if I am giving you that same respect.

I have said this time and time before but You have to trust yourself to know more than what you think you do. Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.and most importantly stay true to yourself, if you don't you can't expect the next person to.

Til Next Time
xoxo

Staying True Yourself

Staying true to yourself can be challenging at times. You can find yourself being someone you actually despise. Worry about your character, not your reputation because your character is who you are & your reputation is what people think you are.

Most people don't know who they are. That's why they lie. They're afraid someone else will figure it out before they do

I'm not always as confident as I seem ... there are many nights and many days when all I want is to be held. I love being held. Always. Sometimes I don't want to talk about what is bothering me ... sometimes I just want a hug ... someone who will let me cry. I like when boys cry in front of me -- when people aren't afraid to show what they're really feeling. I don't like when people run from their true feelings because it doesn't do anyone any good. I wear my heart on my sleeve, but I am not naive. I know what it feels like to be completely broken and I am all too familiar with what it means to be hurt. I know what it's like to see something funny and not laugh. I've been taken advantage of, used, and abused. My feelings have been blatantly disregarded. But I still believe that all people are good at heart ... and my trust in people has not diminished. To be completely honest, I hope it never does.

If you don't set a baseline standard for what you'll accept in life, you'll find it's easy to slip into behaviors and attitudes or a quality of life that's far below what you deserve, meaning you have to Set standards for every area of your life. Staying true to them will assure you that your life will be fulfilled. The last thing anyone wants, is to look back and say, "I wish I would have done _______ differently."

Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony which only means that The easy part for starting any task, is saying you will do it. The true challenge lies in acting on and completing it. Whether you are looking to accomplish a specific goal, or something else you truly desire, the key is to make sure your mind, body and actions are working towards the same goal. As you continue to work towards that goal, you will feel the greatest amount of happiness and self satisfaction.

So when you see yourself slipping away and not being true to yourself always remember that you want to be a first class version of yourself not a second rate version of someone else. dont let anyone steer you away from being you. know that people will talk regardless but as long as you know you are you things will fall into place. Have you ever realized people say that you've changed only because you are no longer living your life their way. Being happy doesn't mean everything is perfect. It means you've decided to look beyond the imperfections.

I live by the 3 R's:
-Respect for self
-Respect for others
-Responsibility for all your actions

When you lose, don't lose the lesson, remember not getting what you want in life can be a wonderful stroke of luck, Judge your success by what you'd had to give in order to get it.

Til Next time
xoxo

When Life knocks you down

Sometimes life can’t get better, you’re on top of the world, smiling from ear to ear, everything falls into place and it feels like we are invincible. It’s an awesome feeling to be high on life like that, those moments and times of peak happiness!
Other times can be less pleasant, sometimes even agonizing, and nothing seems to go right. We want to burst out in tears, come up with irrational ideas and sometimes completely abandon all hope and faith.

Although you cannot control many things in this world, and especially other people, one important factor of happiness is accepting that which you cannot change. What you can change however, is how you feel. Even if things are bad, you can still be happy, you can still choose to smile, and you can still choose to see it as a test that you have to get through in order for things to get better.

I found out that the things that hurt us the most can become the fuel that propels us toward our destiny. It will either make you bitter or it will make you better.

As I laid in bed last night in deep thought about my life and what obsticles I have overcame and what obsticles I need to climb over I found myseld in tears. When done crying I sat up and said no more. I can't have victory without conflict, I am stronger than this, I have been through too much to let life whoop me again and this too shall pass.


Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

Before I end this I want to share one of my facorite sermons by Bishop T.D. Jakes on letting go.

There are people who can walk away from you. And hear me when I tell you this! When people can walk away from you: let them walk. I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone. When people can walk away from you let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left. People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can't make them stay. LET THEM GO! And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person it just means that their part in the story is over. And you've got to know when people's part in your story is over so that you don't keep trying to raise the dead. You've got to know when it's dead. You've got to know when it's over. Let me tell you something. I've got the gift of goodbye. It's the tenth spiritual gift, I believe in goodbye. It's not that I'm hateful, it's that I'm faithful, and I know whatever God means for me to have He'll give it to me. And if it takes too much sweat I don't need it. Stop begging people to stay. LET THEM GO!If you are holding on to something that doesn't belong to you and was never intended for your life, then you need to...LET THEM GO!If you are holding on to past hurts and pains...LET THEM GO!If someone can't treat you right, love you back, and see your worth...LET THEM GO!If someone has angered you...LET THEM GO!If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge...LET THEM GO!If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction...LET THEM GO!If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs or talents...LET THEM GO!If you have a bad attitude...LET THEM GO!If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better...LET THEM GO!If you are struggling with the healing of a broken relationship....... LET THEM GO!If you keep trying to help someone who won't even try to help themselves...LET THEM GO!If you're feeling depressed and stressed...LET THEM GO!Get Right or Get Left, think about it, and then...LET THEM GO!

I know life can be hard at times .. trust me when I say this I know. So when life knocks you down, your already in a perfect position to pray and know that God will not give you anything you can't handle.

Til Next Time
xoxo