Giiiirl did you hear?

I heard......Did you hear.....She said......OHHHH, Susie such and such's husband......
Why? Why do people find it so necessary to talk about others?

I know this is a question that will most likely go into the history books. Were are all guilty of it from time to time, but what gets to me and what gets under my skin is how certain people find it entertaining to talk about others constantly, not realizing how stupid they really look from the outside looking in. What do you get out of belittling someone, or talking about someone's business just to make yourself look good? When 9 times out of 10 you ain't got shit going for yourself. I have noticed in my 27 years of living on this earth that people will talk about you regardless, whether your are doing good and are successful or may have a few flaws and may not be doing well in your life at the moment. You know what they say misery loves company and boy is whoever thought of that saying was right. Miserable, lonely, bitter, angry people are the ones who always have something negative to say about the next person, but how you react to gossip or rumors is what sets you asisde from everyone else.

I have found myself guilty of talking about someone but usually when they make me mad is when I will talk about someone, but never could understand how someone could just outright talk bad or even make shit up to make themselves look good. I have also been on the other end where people have talked about me, I have been labeled everything under the sun mostly that im a bitch. I can get bitchy and if you have only gotten to know my bitchy side then you really didn't get a chance to know me because to know me is to love me. Usually when you pre judge you don't get to know someone, I too have been guilty of pre judging someone before getting to know them and when I actually take the time to get to know them they are really cool people. I am a sweetheart to the core but once I feel betrayed, or if someone makes me mad enough the bitch switch gets turned on and its nothing nice. but im usually a person who gets pre judged then once they get to know me they be like oh she isnt so bad. I have came to notice that Seattle has some messy ass people, male and female and maaan this has to stop. There is no reason for the town to have to know everyone's business. I often find out people's business I don't even know. and its sad, pathetic and ridiculous.

There is a quote I love to say from time to time:

" The hardest thing about business, is minding your own"

So in closing, If you find yourself talking about someone, stop and think about if it was you that was being talked about and see if you don't change your tune.

Til Next Time
xoxo

2010 Im Here With Open Arms!

New Year is a time when many people reflect and evaluate their life and look forward to implementing changes to move towards a better lifestyle. New Years resolutions are often made as people try to deal with the external aspects of their life, for example, bad habits, better lifestyle, or improved relationships.Reflecting on life and making plans for improving life is a good process to work through anytime, whether it be a new year or not. However, one of the reasons many people fail quickly putting their good intentions into action is because they don't understand that there is a foundational truth that underlies all change, which is, that in order to embrace the new, we need to release the old. If you want to go forward in your life, you need to let go of the things in your past that will impede or even prevent you moving on. This can be likened to trying to walk forward while looking backwards; progress is less than satisfactory.

In life bad stuff happens. It is, unfortunately, a fact of life for everyone. Majority of people don't realize however, that it is their response to the events in their lives that have a lasting impact, not the event itself. When something bad happens, it is natural to go through a time of remorse, regret and sorrow. However, in order to move forward you need to arrive at a place where you consciously make a decision to let go and move on. This involves making a decision to stop re-living and dwelling on that event over and over again in your memory. If you don't decide to move on, those events and set-backs in your life start to become your identity. By continuing to dwell on events and set-backs a door is opened for resentment, hurt, grudges, self pity, excuses, and bitterness to take root in your heart and life. This starts to build walls of separation. We think we are protecting ourselves, but we are not. We are, in fact, shutting other people out of our lives, resulting in becoming increasingly alone, isolated, warped, and imprisoned by our own bitterness. It is these walls that keep our dreams and good intentions from coming to pass.

The key to unlocking the door of our self made prison is forgiveness. We do not have the power to change the past whether it be events or situations. Forgiveness cut us loose and frees us to move forward and create a new future. Forgiveness is not just about the other person. Very often we need to forgive ourselves for our mistakes and disappointments and let ourselves off the hook too. As you move into a new year, I encourage you to let go of the things that are holding you back. Stop carrying that extra baggage-set yourself free to make a new start. Forgive people who have hurt you; let go of the things that have been done to you. Get bitterness out of your life! Forgive yourself, and then let it go. As you move forward into the new year, free of old baggage, you will start catching glimpses of fresh hope and of a new future.

I have had what I call a interesting year in 2009, some good things have happend but I have had my fair share of terrible events that have surpassed my good events. I have lost long term friendships at which I was beating myself up about, but then I sat down and analyzed the situation and decided things happen for a reason and I am a strong believer in that. nothing happens in life unless it was meant to happen, so these particular people just weren't meant to make it to my future and I am content with that, because I have so many good people in my corner right now where I couldn't be nothing more than happy. I have lost loved ones and even tho it still hurts like hell I am moving forward in life and not letting the pain that I feel hold me back because my loved one wouldn't have wanted me to sit back and cry and be sad, he would have wanted me to live like him, happy, joyful, positive and I intend on being nothing more than that. it has been a long year as far as my personal life goes. but I am at the point in my life where I can actually say without any doubt in my mind that my old baggage with my past relationship I am finally free of. It has been hard but I am at a place where I am no longer dwelling on what went wrong instead im focusing on spending my energy on moving forward. I am looking forward to see what 2010 has in store for me.

So in closing just remember you are responsible for your life, you can't keep blaming somebody else for your dysfunction. Life is really about moving on.

Til Next Time
xoxo

THIS LIL THING CALLED LIFE!

How many times have you heard someone say, Life is not fair! It is not about whether life is fair or not; it is about the reality of what has happened. Life may not be fair, but life is life. Things will happen without your permission. You will find yourself in situations you didn't plan on being a part of. Yes, you will be handed a left turn when you had planned on going straight. But if life knocks you down you have to be able to get back up again.

It ain't about how hard ya' hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward

I cannot accurately count the number of times in which I have been knocked down in my life, either emotionally, physically, or financially. So far, I've been able to get back up every time. Sometimes slowly, but always, back up.

Personally, I have found that the true challenge comes in realizing that every setback, regardless of its apparent severity, is temporary.
that as long as you do not allow setbacks to become permanent or allow them to kill your optimism. As long as you are willing to change your approach and to "get up", you can and will prevail.

Your exactly where you are in your own thoughts and actions.
This can be quite humbling and uncomfortable, because it causes you to assess your own accountability. Most of the time, you know in your heart what you MUST do, yet fail to consistently follow through on the actions that you KNOW are necessary.
you must adopt the viewpoint that all setbacks are really lessons in disguise. How quickly you learn the lesson will determine just how long the setback will exist for you.

Even with me saying all this to you. I too have setbacks. I am actually going through it as I type. I have family issues, and alot of other things and I have my breaking points too and after talking to friends who mean the world to me this morning they re opened my eyes and gave me hope again. I tend to over analyze everything in my life. I think too much and I literally drive myself crazy with my thoughts. But I am only human as is everyone who has gotten to the point where they didnt think they were gonna make it out of the situation they are in. keep a positive attitude, a good friend of mine told me today that he looks at life as whatever happens in life is gonna happen whether he likes it or not and he has no choice but to live thru it and make it the most comfortable for him and his... and that couldnt be more true. So Im working on letting things flow more naturally and not stress about things I have no control over. I leave it in god hands.

The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, the education, the money, than circumstances, than failure, than success, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company, a church, a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We can’t change our past, we can’t change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We can’t change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I say from time to time that life is 10% of what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. And so is it with you. We are in charge of our attitudes.

Til next time
God Bless.... xoxo

Is being friend with benefits all what its cracked up to be?

You're drunk. Or lonely. Or just plain bored. And you've already got this guy programmed into your phone. So should you try to turn your best buddy into your bed buddy?


To some, it may seem like an ideal relationship, less stressful than an affair, longer lived than a fling or that elusive one-night stand. You can even sit around in your sweats and watch reruns together, feeling like everything is A'ok. The relationships tend to have little romantic passion, but stir the same fears that stalk lovers: namely, that one person will fall harder than the other

Do people still use the terminology ‘friends with benefits? Isn't Fuck Buddy the preffered name for this relationship, I have even heard the terminology "Sneak" And How long can you really honestly be "friends with benefits" or "fuck buddies"


I have had friends with benefits relationships and some turned out fine and some not so well. I had one not long ago last summer which I called him my lil summer friend and it was fine we kicked it did what we did but didn't get feelings envolved. The relationship ended just like it started, fast and quick. There are no hard feelings, I am still to this day coo with this man and we talk all the time, we just don't have that type of relationship anymore. I have also done the FWB with someone where I have caught feelings and it has happend to where the guy caught feelings for me as well. So in my opinion sometimes having a FWB isnt even worth it unless you set the staandards from the gate, and even with that said usually when sex is involved 90% of the time someone is gonna catch feelings.

I would love to hear feed back, what is your take on friends with benefits?

Til next time
xoxo

One Life To Live

We all got one life to live, one life to live our lives to the up most fullest. so that we don't have to look back and think about the coulda, shoulda, woulda's, because you never know when it is your day to leave this here earth.

There is a poem I absolutely love and I tend to pull it out to remind myself not to let things get to me:

Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so love the people who treat you right, pray for the ones who don't, and believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance, take it, if it changes your life, let it, nobody said it was gonna be easy, they just promised it would be worth it.

And thats just it, you can't live your life regretting things you should have done, or done better. You have to brush your shoulders off and keep on moving cause when I say this I mean it, your life is not guranteed. and when you leave this here earth you want to at least leave a mark of good standing. Just last February I lost a really good friend of mine as well as a good friend to many others. and he was the most upstanding guy I knew. He always had a positive outlook on everything, whenever I was down and out about a situation and needed a voice of reasoning I would call him. He did alot for his community and worked with at risk youth. and his life was tragically taken from us all. That right there goes to show you that your life is not promised, he lived a good and honest life and now he is gone. His legacy will still be with us. But damn it hurts like hell to know I don't have my friend to laugh with, to cry with, and to talk to.

I just recently found out that a close friend of mines husband was ran over by a drunk driver this past Sunday on purpose, because why? Because of his nationality? because they were in his way even tho they had the right away to walk? because he was a angry bitter person who decided he wanted to take someone else's life. He ran my friends husband over 3 times, I repeat 3 times. and then drove off and my friend had to watch her husband die in front of her. He was a very upstanding guy, was a good brother, friend and husband, and his 30 years on this earth was cut short.

So when things of this nature happens around me it makes me think maybe I don't need to stress as much about this situation, or get overly angry at that situation, and just live life to the fullest and not let pettyness of others get to me as much.

As I sit here in deep thought I have realized that I have made mistakes in my life and let people take advantage of me, I've excepted way less than I deserve. But I have learned from my bad choices and even tho there are some things I will never get back or people who will never be sorry, I know better next time and I refuse to settle for anything less than what I deserve.
As analyze situations that have occured in my lifetime whether its envolving friendships or relationships I realize I have came out on top, I have gone through my fair share of drama and I refuse to let anyone bring my spirits down and take me to a place I don't want to ever go back to again. So I have made a pact with myself that I will not allow anyone else's bad energy effect my positive energy.


when you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. So maybe you should try to live your life so that when you die, you are the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.

Because life is too short to be anything but happy!

Til next time
xoxo

Another bad situation!

Do you ever ask yourself why am I always in yet another situation I rather not be in? Do you always find your self in some sort of drama? Finacial problem? Or just in a situation you rather not be in?



If you answered yes, than this post is for you!



Sometimes it feels hopeless, I know. You're trying to form a new good habit, but it's hard. It's hard for a lot reasons, but here's one: You might be putting yourself in situations that "pull" for the bad habit. Situations are extremely powerful. If we find ourselves in a situation that is maneuvering us into doing something that we'd rather not, we have to resist!



Attitudes predict behavior and certain situations can be powerful.



When it comes to changing bad habits, the power of the situation needs to be considered. Let’s think about this for a moment. Where do you do the bad habits that you do?



If you consistantly find yourself caught up in some sort of drama, you have to sit back and analyze what the problem is.. and once you do this you may figure out it is you! I hear alot about people having haters, or they are drama free. but you really don't have to let everyone know you have haters. who wants to brag about people hating them, brag about how much you are loved. and if you are in all actuality "drama" free then you don't need utter it out your mouth every chance you get.

Im not saying there aren't people in the world who hate on people for what they have, or what they don't have, or who they are with, etc. but it relys on you , on how you are going to react to this type of negativity. The biggest thing you can do to someone who has alot of hatred in their heart is killing them with kindness. Like kandi says fly above all the hatred.

If you consistantly are finding yourself in situations where your not being finanacially smart you have to again stop and analyze the situation. First and foremost Business before Pleasure, that is a must. so what you need to do is sit down and prioritize your priorities and if going out, or shopping, etc is more important than paying bills then you have a serious problem on your hands. What people need to understand is you will be way better off if you just do it right the first time. these clubs are not going anywhere so if there is a party this weekend there will be another next weekend or the weekend after, same with clothes or whatever else you may feel you need at that moment it will be there when you are able to afford it cause in my opinion that outfit you just broke yourself to buy isnt goin to pay your rent and that party you just had to go to isnt gonna stop you from getting evicted, lights turned off etc. so prioritize your responsibilities and see that you don't come out on top!

So in closing I just want to say once again. Prioritize prioritize prioritize!!! And think about the outcome of every situation before you do it, and see if you don't come out on top!

Til next time
xoxo

Fakeassness!!!!!

Fake people are people that are not real they always try to deceive you and make you think that they are the real deal. With fake people you can never see the light because when you are staring into their eyes it's always dark and never bright, fake people are like mirrors you can see right through them they are always lying to you but you already know it's a scam. Fake people are always trying to be something that they are not, but when you get a good look at them you realize that they don't look no where near as hot.

In my opinion fakeness is running rampid, especially in our town. Females around town are faker than the hair on their heads, the males are running rampid with that Bitchassness disease.. and its ridiculous. Everyone says they keep it 100, but do they really? Me personally am tired of hearing people say how real they are, or they keep it 100 but then you find out different. what Exactly is keeping it 100? Keeping it real?

Keeping it real means: Staying true to yourself, your faith, your life and constantly seeking the truth.

What puzzles me is when someone knows they don't like you, or they may not care for you but will smile up in your face. I have females and even dudes that I know have talked about me, but will smile up in my face when they see me out, and some even break their necks to speak. My question is why? If I don't care for someone one im not going to speak or even act like I like you.

Now with all that said, there is a what you call being cordial with someone but alot of people miscontrue the meaning of cordial with being fake.

Cordial is when: your warm, sincere, friendly, and is not to be mistaken with being fake. I have certain people I do not care for but we have mutual friends so when were all together I am cordial meaning I will speak and carry on with my business. You don't have to carry on a conversation when being cordial with someone and smile up in their face like you are friends. because thats when being "fake" comes into play.

I have a saying I like to use: Trust can take years to build, but only seconds to break.

I love this saying because when I befriend you and trust you it means something to me, so when you are smiling in my face and being fake, it doesnt matter how long I have had you in my life, its a wrap, all that trust that was built throughout the years will go right out the window. I have observed when speaking to several friends that alot of fakeness is going on within their group of close knit friends, that has me shaking my head because you would think that because they are "close" to you that will not talk about you, cause harm to you etc. Now and days you can only trust within yourself, its sad but extremely true. I have had my own bloodline stab me in my back, I have had friendships that lasted for 10 plus years crumble to the ground all due to the fact people are not true, and were "fake" from the start.


'have you ever realized that when .. people say you’ve changed it’s just because you’ve stopped living your life ... their way. You cannot live your life trying to mold yourself to opinions or expectations of others. They may be happy if you do, but you’ll be miserable.

You have to trust yourself to know more than what you think you do. Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.

and most importantly stay true to yourself, if you don't you can't expect the next person to!

Til Next Time
xoxo