Is it Real or Is it Fake?

Do you really know when someone your dealing with is being real or being fake? So many people contradict themselves stating that they are real and they keep it 100 etc. But do they really?

Keeping it real means: Staying true to yourself, your faith, your life and constantly seeking the truth. So with this said if you absolutely don't like somone or may not care for someone don't do them any favors by smiling up in their face cause all it shows at the end of the day is your fake and aren't trustworthy. Loyalty is huge in my book. staying true and being honest. I am a very loyal and trustworthy person and I feel if I am loyal and honest towards you, I deserve the same exact respect. It gets under my skin when someone knows they don't care for you and they aren't trying to mess with you on a friendly level but continue to act like they are. Don't act like your coo with me but act standoffish or distant just be "Real". How do you react to situations like this? Do you just sit back and continue to let it happen? Or do you confront them about it? Seems like a lose lose situation to me. I feel whether the outcome doesn't pan out the way you would have hoped to still speak what is on your mind, there is no need in boddling up mixed feelings for them to burst out at the wrong time. But always stay true to yourself. Don't continue to be in a situation you know you don't want to be in.

Now and days you can only trust within yourself, its sad but extremely true. I have had my own bloodline stab me in my back, I have had friendships that lasted for 10 plus years crumble to the ground all due to the fact people are not true, and were "fake" from the start. It can take years to build trust but only seconds to break. Someone once told me for every minute you stay angry with someone, you lose 60 seconds of happiness that you can't get back. I will not allow someone else's actions to continue to bring my spirits down and make me unhappy. You don't have to love me, you don't even have to like me but the one thing you will do is repsect me especially if I am giving you that same respect.

I have said this time and time before but You have to trust yourself to know more than what you think you do. Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.and most importantly stay true to yourself, if you don't you can't expect the next person to.

Til Next Time
xoxo

Staying True Yourself

Staying true to yourself can be challenging at times. You can find yourself being someone you actually despise. Worry about your character, not your reputation because your character is who you are & your reputation is what people think you are.

Most people don't know who they are. That's why they lie. They're afraid someone else will figure it out before they do

I'm not always as confident as I seem ... there are many nights and many days when all I want is to be held. I love being held. Always. Sometimes I don't want to talk about what is bothering me ... sometimes I just want a hug ... someone who will let me cry. I like when boys cry in front of me -- when people aren't afraid to show what they're really feeling. I don't like when people run from their true feelings because it doesn't do anyone any good. I wear my heart on my sleeve, but I am not naive. I know what it feels like to be completely broken and I am all too familiar with what it means to be hurt. I know what it's like to see something funny and not laugh. I've been taken advantage of, used, and abused. My feelings have been blatantly disregarded. But I still believe that all people are good at heart ... and my trust in people has not diminished. To be completely honest, I hope it never does.

If you don't set a baseline standard for what you'll accept in life, you'll find it's easy to slip into behaviors and attitudes or a quality of life that's far below what you deserve, meaning you have to Set standards for every area of your life. Staying true to them will assure you that your life will be fulfilled. The last thing anyone wants, is to look back and say, "I wish I would have done _______ differently."

Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony which only means that The easy part for starting any task, is saying you will do it. The true challenge lies in acting on and completing it. Whether you are looking to accomplish a specific goal, or something else you truly desire, the key is to make sure your mind, body and actions are working towards the same goal. As you continue to work towards that goal, you will feel the greatest amount of happiness and self satisfaction.

So when you see yourself slipping away and not being true to yourself always remember that you want to be a first class version of yourself not a second rate version of someone else. dont let anyone steer you away from being you. know that people will talk regardless but as long as you know you are you things will fall into place. Have you ever realized people say that you've changed only because you are no longer living your life their way. Being happy doesn't mean everything is perfect. It means you've decided to look beyond the imperfections.

I live by the 3 R's:
-Respect for self
-Respect for others
-Responsibility for all your actions

When you lose, don't lose the lesson, remember not getting what you want in life can be a wonderful stroke of luck, Judge your success by what you'd had to give in order to get it.

Til Next time
xoxo

When Life knocks you down

Sometimes life can’t get better, you’re on top of the world, smiling from ear to ear, everything falls into place and it feels like we are invincible. It’s an awesome feeling to be high on life like that, those moments and times of peak happiness!
Other times can be less pleasant, sometimes even agonizing, and nothing seems to go right. We want to burst out in tears, come up with irrational ideas and sometimes completely abandon all hope and faith.

Although you cannot control many things in this world, and especially other people, one important factor of happiness is accepting that which you cannot change. What you can change however, is how you feel. Even if things are bad, you can still be happy, you can still choose to smile, and you can still choose to see it as a test that you have to get through in order for things to get better.

I found out that the things that hurt us the most can become the fuel that propels us toward our destiny. It will either make you bitter or it will make you better.

As I laid in bed last night in deep thought about my life and what obsticles I have overcame and what obsticles I need to climb over I found myseld in tears. When done crying I sat up and said no more. I can't have victory without conflict, I am stronger than this, I have been through too much to let life whoop me again and this too shall pass.


Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

Before I end this I want to share one of my facorite sermons by Bishop T.D. Jakes on letting go.

There are people who can walk away from you. And hear me when I tell you this! When people can walk away from you: let them walk. I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone. When people can walk away from you let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left. People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can't make them stay. LET THEM GO! And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person it just means that their part in the story is over. And you've got to know when people's part in your story is over so that you don't keep trying to raise the dead. You've got to know when it's dead. You've got to know when it's over. Let me tell you something. I've got the gift of goodbye. It's the tenth spiritual gift, I believe in goodbye. It's not that I'm hateful, it's that I'm faithful, and I know whatever God means for me to have He'll give it to me. And if it takes too much sweat I don't need it. Stop begging people to stay. LET THEM GO!If you are holding on to something that doesn't belong to you and was never intended for your life, then you need to...LET THEM GO!If you are holding on to past hurts and pains...LET THEM GO!If someone can't treat you right, love you back, and see your worth...LET THEM GO!If someone has angered you...LET THEM GO!If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge...LET THEM GO!If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction...LET THEM GO!If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs or talents...LET THEM GO!If you have a bad attitude...LET THEM GO!If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better...LET THEM GO!If you are struggling with the healing of a broken relationship....... LET THEM GO!If you keep trying to help someone who won't even try to help themselves...LET THEM GO!If you're feeling depressed and stressed...LET THEM GO!Get Right or Get Left, think about it, and then...LET THEM GO!

I know life can be hard at times .. trust me when I say this I know. So when life knocks you down, your already in a perfect position to pray and know that God will not give you anything you can't handle.

Til Next Time
xoxo

Is it Love or Lust?

Are you in love, or is it lust? Love and lust are incredibly intertwined. Lust is ground zero for hormones -- it's nature's way of bringing the opposite sexes together to mate. In fact, without lust, it's doubtful that love between a man and a woman would have a chance to prosper at all.

My opinion the desire to love is to give and the desire to lust is to get.

It is a very common question, "How can I tell I'm in love?", but it is not an easy question to answer. What feels like love to one person may be nothing more than attraction to another. Some people fall in and out of love quickly and often while others are never really in love as much as they are in lust. This can get confusing, You are overwhelmed with all sorts of new feelings. What is love? What makes you want a romantic relationship with one person and not another? How does your heart choose a partner? Why does love end? These questions can't be easily answered.

One of the most confusing feelings is lust. Lust is a very powerful, very intense feeling of physical attraction toward another person. Lust is mainly sexual in nature - the attraction is superficial based on instant chemistry rather than genuine caring. Usually we lust after people we do not know well, people we still feel comfortable fantasizing about. It is very common for people to confuse lust for love. But why? What is it about lust and love that make them so easy to mix up? If lust is all about sex, how can a relationship without sex be about lust? Lust is about physical attraction and acting ONLY on physical attraction. Love is about much more than that. Yet many of us confuse an intense attraction for some sort if divine love.

Lust is clearly not love. Love is based on more than just physical attraction. Sure, attraction is a factor, but love goes deeper than that. Love is based on caring, friendship, commitment and trust. When you are in love it is as if you have your best most trusted friend at your side and you feel physically attracted to them. It is the best of both worlds! Love is a shared feeling between two people who have a vested interest in one anothers happiness. Love is not about jealousy. It is not about conflict. It is not about testing. Love is a positive feeling. If it is tainted by mistrust, jealousy, insecurity or spitefulness it is not really love but merely a pale copy. Love is the total surrender of your heart to another person with the security of knowing they will treat it better than you will. Love should feel good. It should not feel bad. Love should make you want to be a better person, it should not lead you to do something self destructive. Love is not demanding of your spirit but lifts it and makes it glow. Love is a good thing. Anything less is lust, deep friendship or attraction. So the sappiness aside, the question remains, how can you tell you are in love?

True love to me is when your heart and your mind are on the same page. and that an immature love says I love you because I need you, but a mature love says they need you because they love you.

So remember let your heart guide you...but listen carefully because it whispers..

Til next time
xoxo

Giiiirl did you hear?

I heard......Did you hear.....She said......OHHHH, Susie such and such's husband......
Why? Why do people find it so necessary to talk about others?

I know this is a question that will most likely go into the history books. Were are all guilty of it from time to time, but what gets to me and what gets under my skin is how certain people find it entertaining to talk about others constantly, not realizing how stupid they really look from the outside looking in. What do you get out of belittling someone, or talking about someone's business just to make yourself look good? When 9 times out of 10 you ain't got shit going for yourself. I have noticed in my 27 years of living on this earth that people will talk about you regardless, whether your are doing good and are successful or may have a few flaws and may not be doing well in your life at the moment. You know what they say misery loves company and boy is whoever thought of that saying was right. Miserable, lonely, bitter, angry people are the ones who always have something negative to say about the next person, but how you react to gossip or rumors is what sets you asisde from everyone else.

I have found myself guilty of talking about someone but usually when they make me mad is when I will talk about someone, but never could understand how someone could just outright talk bad or even make shit up to make themselves look good. I have also been on the other end where people have talked about me, I have been labeled everything under the sun mostly that im a bitch. I can get bitchy and if you have only gotten to know my bitchy side then you really didn't get a chance to know me because to know me is to love me. Usually when you pre judge you don't get to know someone, I too have been guilty of pre judging someone before getting to know them and when I actually take the time to get to know them they are really cool people. I am a sweetheart to the core but once I feel betrayed, or if someone makes me mad enough the bitch switch gets turned on and its nothing nice. but im usually a person who gets pre judged then once they get to know me they be like oh she isnt so bad. I have came to notice that Seattle has some messy ass people, male and female and maaan this has to stop. There is no reason for the town to have to know everyone's business. I often find out people's business I don't even know. and its sad, pathetic and ridiculous.

There is a quote I love to say from time to time:

" The hardest thing about business, is minding your own"

So in closing, If you find yourself talking about someone, stop and think about if it was you that was being talked about and see if you don't change your tune.

Til Next Time
xoxo

2010 Im Here With Open Arms!

New Year is a time when many people reflect and evaluate their life and look forward to implementing changes to move towards a better lifestyle. New Years resolutions are often made as people try to deal with the external aspects of their life, for example, bad habits, better lifestyle, or improved relationships.Reflecting on life and making plans for improving life is a good process to work through anytime, whether it be a new year or not. However, one of the reasons many people fail quickly putting their good intentions into action is because they don't understand that there is a foundational truth that underlies all change, which is, that in order to embrace the new, we need to release the old. If you want to go forward in your life, you need to let go of the things in your past that will impede or even prevent you moving on. This can be likened to trying to walk forward while looking backwards; progress is less than satisfactory.

In life bad stuff happens. It is, unfortunately, a fact of life for everyone. Majority of people don't realize however, that it is their response to the events in their lives that have a lasting impact, not the event itself. When something bad happens, it is natural to go through a time of remorse, regret and sorrow. However, in order to move forward you need to arrive at a place where you consciously make a decision to let go and move on. This involves making a decision to stop re-living and dwelling on that event over and over again in your memory. If you don't decide to move on, those events and set-backs in your life start to become your identity. By continuing to dwell on events and set-backs a door is opened for resentment, hurt, grudges, self pity, excuses, and bitterness to take root in your heart and life. This starts to build walls of separation. We think we are protecting ourselves, but we are not. We are, in fact, shutting other people out of our lives, resulting in becoming increasingly alone, isolated, warped, and imprisoned by our own bitterness. It is these walls that keep our dreams and good intentions from coming to pass.

The key to unlocking the door of our self made prison is forgiveness. We do not have the power to change the past whether it be events or situations. Forgiveness cut us loose and frees us to move forward and create a new future. Forgiveness is not just about the other person. Very often we need to forgive ourselves for our mistakes and disappointments and let ourselves off the hook too. As you move into a new year, I encourage you to let go of the things that are holding you back. Stop carrying that extra baggage-set yourself free to make a new start. Forgive people who have hurt you; let go of the things that have been done to you. Get bitterness out of your life! Forgive yourself, and then let it go. As you move forward into the new year, free of old baggage, you will start catching glimpses of fresh hope and of a new future.

I have had what I call a interesting year in 2009, some good things have happend but I have had my fair share of terrible events that have surpassed my good events. I have lost long term friendships at which I was beating myself up about, but then I sat down and analyzed the situation and decided things happen for a reason and I am a strong believer in that. nothing happens in life unless it was meant to happen, so these particular people just weren't meant to make it to my future and I am content with that, because I have so many good people in my corner right now where I couldn't be nothing more than happy. I have lost loved ones and even tho it still hurts like hell I am moving forward in life and not letting the pain that I feel hold me back because my loved one wouldn't have wanted me to sit back and cry and be sad, he would have wanted me to live like him, happy, joyful, positive and I intend on being nothing more than that. it has been a long year as far as my personal life goes. but I am at the point in my life where I can actually say without any doubt in my mind that my old baggage with my past relationship I am finally free of. It has been hard but I am at a place where I am no longer dwelling on what went wrong instead im focusing on spending my energy on moving forward. I am looking forward to see what 2010 has in store for me.

So in closing just remember you are responsible for your life, you can't keep blaming somebody else for your dysfunction. Life is really about moving on.

Til Next Time
xoxo

THIS LIL THING CALLED LIFE!

How many times have you heard someone say, Life is not fair! It is not about whether life is fair or not; it is about the reality of what has happened. Life may not be fair, but life is life. Things will happen without your permission. You will find yourself in situations you didn't plan on being a part of. Yes, you will be handed a left turn when you had planned on going straight. But if life knocks you down you have to be able to get back up again.

It ain't about how hard ya' hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward

I cannot accurately count the number of times in which I have been knocked down in my life, either emotionally, physically, or financially. So far, I've been able to get back up every time. Sometimes slowly, but always, back up.

Personally, I have found that the true challenge comes in realizing that every setback, regardless of its apparent severity, is temporary.
that as long as you do not allow setbacks to become permanent or allow them to kill your optimism. As long as you are willing to change your approach and to "get up", you can and will prevail.

Your exactly where you are in your own thoughts and actions.
This can be quite humbling and uncomfortable, because it causes you to assess your own accountability. Most of the time, you know in your heart what you MUST do, yet fail to consistently follow through on the actions that you KNOW are necessary.
you must adopt the viewpoint that all setbacks are really lessons in disguise. How quickly you learn the lesson will determine just how long the setback will exist for you.

Even with me saying all this to you. I too have setbacks. I am actually going through it as I type. I have family issues, and alot of other things and I have my breaking points too and after talking to friends who mean the world to me this morning they re opened my eyes and gave me hope again. I tend to over analyze everything in my life. I think too much and I literally drive myself crazy with my thoughts. But I am only human as is everyone who has gotten to the point where they didnt think they were gonna make it out of the situation they are in. keep a positive attitude, a good friend of mine told me today that he looks at life as whatever happens in life is gonna happen whether he likes it or not and he has no choice but to live thru it and make it the most comfortable for him and his... and that couldnt be more true. So Im working on letting things flow more naturally and not stress about things I have no control over. I leave it in god hands.

The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, the education, the money, than circumstances, than failure, than success, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company, a church, a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We can’t change our past, we can’t change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We can’t change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I say from time to time that life is 10% of what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. And so is it with you. We are in charge of our attitudes.

Til next time
God Bless.... xoxo