Letting things get to you!

have had to deal with many things in my life ... most I have had absolutely no control over. Learning how to accept the things that cannot be changed can be difficult and quite painful.

Be strong and hold on! Understand things happen to everyone of us. Many of them are beyond our control. Whatever the situation may be, God has a way of giving us the courage we need to face whatever the giant is we are facing in our life. Grieve then give yourself time to heal. Be sensitive to your own needs. It's okay to feel pain and grieve. Don't hold it in or try to tuck it away, as though it never happened, for it will do more harm than good and will not go away. Instead, it will deepen and worsen, as it results in a destructive pattern in your life. There is a time for mourning, but there is also a time to release the pain.

Don't blame yourself. We all have battles, challenges and in many cases horrible situations you feel could have been prevented with the ifs. I blamed myself for the many actions of others and thought if I had have .... or .... they would not have done what was done. But in reality, they were the ones with the problem, and they were miserable in their own self. It took me a long time to realize it was not me - but them. Make a adamant choice to die to the thing(s) that seek to control your emotions and life. In other words, choose to let it go by not thinking on the thing(s) or situation(s). When you constantly think and meditate on the pain and/or negative situation, you will begin to feel heavy in heart, depressed and caught up in a cycle that will grow with intensity and not stop until it devours and destroys you, your life and everything around you. In other words your negative energy will start rubbing people the wrong way and it will drain the life out of you.

I've came to the conclusion that I can't change certain circumstances in my life, so I have to go with the flow and let certain situations be. I cannot change how other people think nor can I make someone change their ways. All I know is I can start with changing how I react to every situation I come accross. For every action there is a reaction, and I choose to react with a more positive approach. Being angry and bitter and depressed about every situation will take the life out of you. So why not wake up every morning happy and full of life. and just let things fall into place. I am in a more happy place where I am not letting the BS life throws our way get me down and I am doing what I need to do that makes me and happy as well as my two children.

Til Next time
xoxo

R.E.S.P.E.C.T.

The common phrase "treat people the way you want to be treated" asserts that by treating people the way you want to be treated, they will treat you the same way, right?

It seems simple enough, but there is a large percentage that demand respect but don't have any clue on how to give it. It's not a matter of someone liking or disliking you but just showing the same respect you would want someone to give you.

I like to live by the 3 R's:

Rspect for self
Respect for others
Responsibility for all your actions

The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, the education, the money, than circumstances, than failure, than success, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company, a church, a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We can’t change our past, we can’t change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We can’t change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I say from time to time that life is 10% of what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. And so is it with you. We are in charge of our attitudes.

How many times have you heard someone say, Life is not fair! It is not about whether life is fair or not; it is about the reality of what has happened. Life may not be fair, but life is life. Things will happen without your permission. You will find yourself in situations you didn't plan on being a part of. Yes, you will be handed a left turn when you had planned on going straight. But if life knocks you down you have to be able to get back up again. But when you are handed a left turn instead of the right turn you wanted to take try to keep a positive outlook on life remember to treat the people who care about you with respect. You can't be 100% all the time but pushing the people who care about and your situation isnt going to make the situation go away or make it any better if anything it will make it worse, pretty soon you will have no one to lean on when you need to. sometimes the people who are about you may not have the answers you are looking for but the fact they are there for moral support is what matters the most. so again remember to always treat people with the same exact respect you would want them to treat you with.

Til Next Time
xoxo

Is it Real or Is it Fake?

Do you really know when someone your dealing with is being real or being fake? So many people contradict themselves stating that they are real and they keep it 100 etc. But do they really?

Keeping it real means: Staying true to yourself, your faith, your life and constantly seeking the truth. So with this said if you absolutely don't like somone or may not care for someone don't do them any favors by smiling up in their face cause all it shows at the end of the day is your fake and aren't trustworthy. Loyalty is huge in my book. staying true and being honest. I am a very loyal and trustworthy person and I feel if I am loyal and honest towards you, I deserve the same exact respect. It gets under my skin when someone knows they don't care for you and they aren't trying to mess with you on a friendly level but continue to act like they are. Don't act like your coo with me but act standoffish or distant just be "Real". How do you react to situations like this? Do you just sit back and continue to let it happen? Or do you confront them about it? Seems like a lose lose situation to me. I feel whether the outcome doesn't pan out the way you would have hoped to still speak what is on your mind, there is no need in boddling up mixed feelings for them to burst out at the wrong time. But always stay true to yourself. Don't continue to be in a situation you know you don't want to be in.

Now and days you can only trust within yourself, its sad but extremely true. I have had my own bloodline stab me in my back, I have had friendships that lasted for 10 plus years crumble to the ground all due to the fact people are not true, and were "fake" from the start. It can take years to build trust but only seconds to break. Someone once told me for every minute you stay angry with someone, you lose 60 seconds of happiness that you can't get back. I will not allow someone else's actions to continue to bring my spirits down and make me unhappy. You don't have to love me, you don't even have to like me but the one thing you will do is repsect me especially if I am giving you that same respect.

I have said this time and time before but You have to trust yourself to know more than what you think you do. Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.and most importantly stay true to yourself, if you don't you can't expect the next person to.

Til Next Time
xoxo

Staying True Yourself

Staying true to yourself can be challenging at times. You can find yourself being someone you actually despise. Worry about your character, not your reputation because your character is who you are & your reputation is what people think you are.

Most people don't know who they are. That's why they lie. They're afraid someone else will figure it out before they do

I'm not always as confident as I seem ... there are many nights and many days when all I want is to be held. I love being held. Always. Sometimes I don't want to talk about what is bothering me ... sometimes I just want a hug ... someone who will let me cry. I like when boys cry in front of me -- when people aren't afraid to show what they're really feeling. I don't like when people run from their true feelings because it doesn't do anyone any good. I wear my heart on my sleeve, but I am not naive. I know what it feels like to be completely broken and I am all too familiar with what it means to be hurt. I know what it's like to see something funny and not laugh. I've been taken advantage of, used, and abused. My feelings have been blatantly disregarded. But I still believe that all people are good at heart ... and my trust in people has not diminished. To be completely honest, I hope it never does.

If you don't set a baseline standard for what you'll accept in life, you'll find it's easy to slip into behaviors and attitudes or a quality of life that's far below what you deserve, meaning you have to Set standards for every area of your life. Staying true to them will assure you that your life will be fulfilled. The last thing anyone wants, is to look back and say, "I wish I would have done _______ differently."

Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony which only means that The easy part for starting any task, is saying you will do it. The true challenge lies in acting on and completing it. Whether you are looking to accomplish a specific goal, or something else you truly desire, the key is to make sure your mind, body and actions are working towards the same goal. As you continue to work towards that goal, you will feel the greatest amount of happiness and self satisfaction.

So when you see yourself slipping away and not being true to yourself always remember that you want to be a first class version of yourself not a second rate version of someone else. dont let anyone steer you away from being you. know that people will talk regardless but as long as you know you are you things will fall into place. Have you ever realized people say that you've changed only because you are no longer living your life their way. Being happy doesn't mean everything is perfect. It means you've decided to look beyond the imperfections.

I live by the 3 R's:
-Respect for self
-Respect for others
-Responsibility for all your actions

When you lose, don't lose the lesson, remember not getting what you want in life can be a wonderful stroke of luck, Judge your success by what you'd had to give in order to get it.

Til Next time
xoxo

When Life knocks you down

Sometimes life can’t get better, you’re on top of the world, smiling from ear to ear, everything falls into place and it feels like we are invincible. It’s an awesome feeling to be high on life like that, those moments and times of peak happiness!
Other times can be less pleasant, sometimes even agonizing, and nothing seems to go right. We want to burst out in tears, come up with irrational ideas and sometimes completely abandon all hope and faith.

Although you cannot control many things in this world, and especially other people, one important factor of happiness is accepting that which you cannot change. What you can change however, is how you feel. Even if things are bad, you can still be happy, you can still choose to smile, and you can still choose to see it as a test that you have to get through in order for things to get better.

I found out that the things that hurt us the most can become the fuel that propels us toward our destiny. It will either make you bitter or it will make you better.

As I laid in bed last night in deep thought about my life and what obsticles I have overcame and what obsticles I need to climb over I found myseld in tears. When done crying I sat up and said no more. I can't have victory without conflict, I am stronger than this, I have been through too much to let life whoop me again and this too shall pass.


Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

Before I end this I want to share one of my facorite sermons by Bishop T.D. Jakes on letting go.

There are people who can walk away from you. And hear me when I tell you this! When people can walk away from you: let them walk. I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone. When people can walk away from you let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left. People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can't make them stay. LET THEM GO! And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person it just means that their part in the story is over. And you've got to know when people's part in your story is over so that you don't keep trying to raise the dead. You've got to know when it's dead. You've got to know when it's over. Let me tell you something. I've got the gift of goodbye. It's the tenth spiritual gift, I believe in goodbye. It's not that I'm hateful, it's that I'm faithful, and I know whatever God means for me to have He'll give it to me. And if it takes too much sweat I don't need it. Stop begging people to stay. LET THEM GO!If you are holding on to something that doesn't belong to you and was never intended for your life, then you need to...LET THEM GO!If you are holding on to past hurts and pains...LET THEM GO!If someone can't treat you right, love you back, and see your worth...LET THEM GO!If someone has angered you...LET THEM GO!If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge...LET THEM GO!If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction...LET THEM GO!If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs or talents...LET THEM GO!If you have a bad attitude...LET THEM GO!If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better...LET THEM GO!If you are struggling with the healing of a broken relationship....... LET THEM GO!If you keep trying to help someone who won't even try to help themselves...LET THEM GO!If you're feeling depressed and stressed...LET THEM GO!Get Right or Get Left, think about it, and then...LET THEM GO!

I know life can be hard at times .. trust me when I say this I know. So when life knocks you down, your already in a perfect position to pray and know that God will not give you anything you can't handle.

Til Next Time
xoxo

Is it Love or Lust?

Are you in love, or is it lust? Love and lust are incredibly intertwined. Lust is ground zero for hormones -- it's nature's way of bringing the opposite sexes together to mate. In fact, without lust, it's doubtful that love between a man and a woman would have a chance to prosper at all.

My opinion the desire to love is to give and the desire to lust is to get.

It is a very common question, "How can I tell I'm in love?", but it is not an easy question to answer. What feels like love to one person may be nothing more than attraction to another. Some people fall in and out of love quickly and often while others are never really in love as much as they are in lust. This can get confusing, You are overwhelmed with all sorts of new feelings. What is love? What makes you want a romantic relationship with one person and not another? How does your heart choose a partner? Why does love end? These questions can't be easily answered.

One of the most confusing feelings is lust. Lust is a very powerful, very intense feeling of physical attraction toward another person. Lust is mainly sexual in nature - the attraction is superficial based on instant chemistry rather than genuine caring. Usually we lust after people we do not know well, people we still feel comfortable fantasizing about. It is very common for people to confuse lust for love. But why? What is it about lust and love that make them so easy to mix up? If lust is all about sex, how can a relationship without sex be about lust? Lust is about physical attraction and acting ONLY on physical attraction. Love is about much more than that. Yet many of us confuse an intense attraction for some sort if divine love.

Lust is clearly not love. Love is based on more than just physical attraction. Sure, attraction is a factor, but love goes deeper than that. Love is based on caring, friendship, commitment and trust. When you are in love it is as if you have your best most trusted friend at your side and you feel physically attracted to them. It is the best of both worlds! Love is a shared feeling between two people who have a vested interest in one anothers happiness. Love is not about jealousy. It is not about conflict. It is not about testing. Love is a positive feeling. If it is tainted by mistrust, jealousy, insecurity or spitefulness it is not really love but merely a pale copy. Love is the total surrender of your heart to another person with the security of knowing they will treat it better than you will. Love should feel good. It should not feel bad. Love should make you want to be a better person, it should not lead you to do something self destructive. Love is not demanding of your spirit but lifts it and makes it glow. Love is a good thing. Anything less is lust, deep friendship or attraction. So the sappiness aside, the question remains, how can you tell you are in love?

True love to me is when your heart and your mind are on the same page. and that an immature love says I love you because I need you, but a mature love says they need you because they love you.

So remember let your heart guide you...but listen carefully because it whispers..

Til next time
xoxo

Giiiirl did you hear?

I heard......Did you hear.....She said......OHHHH, Susie such and such's husband......
Why? Why do people find it so necessary to talk about others?

I know this is a question that will most likely go into the history books. Were are all guilty of it from time to time, but what gets to me and what gets under my skin is how certain people find it entertaining to talk about others constantly, not realizing how stupid they really look from the outside looking in. What do you get out of belittling someone, or talking about someone's business just to make yourself look good? When 9 times out of 10 you ain't got shit going for yourself. I have noticed in my 27 years of living on this earth that people will talk about you regardless, whether your are doing good and are successful or may have a few flaws and may not be doing well in your life at the moment. You know what they say misery loves company and boy is whoever thought of that saying was right. Miserable, lonely, bitter, angry people are the ones who always have something negative to say about the next person, but how you react to gossip or rumors is what sets you asisde from everyone else.

I have found myself guilty of talking about someone but usually when they make me mad is when I will talk about someone, but never could understand how someone could just outright talk bad or even make shit up to make themselves look good. I have also been on the other end where people have talked about me, I have been labeled everything under the sun mostly that im a bitch. I can get bitchy and if you have only gotten to know my bitchy side then you really didn't get a chance to know me because to know me is to love me. Usually when you pre judge you don't get to know someone, I too have been guilty of pre judging someone before getting to know them and when I actually take the time to get to know them they are really cool people. I am a sweetheart to the core but once I feel betrayed, or if someone makes me mad enough the bitch switch gets turned on and its nothing nice. but im usually a person who gets pre judged then once they get to know me they be like oh she isnt so bad. I have came to notice that Seattle has some messy ass people, male and female and maaan this has to stop. There is no reason for the town to have to know everyone's business. I often find out people's business I don't even know. and its sad, pathetic and ridiculous.

There is a quote I love to say from time to time:

" The hardest thing about business, is minding your own"

So in closing, If you find yourself talking about someone, stop and think about if it was you that was being talked about and see if you don't change your tune.

Til Next Time
xoxo