Realize What You Have When you Have it!

This isn't a man bashing blog but im mainly speaking to my ladies out here only because I am a woman and I can relate when speaking in terms of a guy.. but this can go both ways cause us women mess up as well...

How often do we as women go back and forth with a man that we love in the hopes that he will one day be true, appreciate us, or just get his act together? Whatever the issue may be, we struggle with him in hopes of it coming into fruition but at last, it does not. After realizing that you are at fault as well for wasting so much time and energy on the relationship you are forced to put on your soldier of love armor and proceed into the jungles of the dating world.

There is no clear explanation as to why a man does not appreciate the woman he has until he no longer has her. It is as if it does not connect with them until much after. By then it is too late. She is no longer interested or has moved on. Some say this concept is human nature. Now, I am not talking about ALL men because obviously not all men are foolish but it remains a mystery on the ones who are.

There is a quote I posted that said: " One day he\she will wake up and realize how amazing you really were and when that day comes you'll be waking up next to someone who already knew!!

So cherish the one you are with, don't take anyone for granted and treat them as you would want to be treated because that woman name Karma!! She can be a cold bitch!!!!

Til Next Time
xoxo

Breaking Point!

Breaking point... everyone goes through them... but how do we move on.. how do we get passed the hurt, the pain, the stress, the anger, all of the emotions that comes with breaking down? In life we know that bad things will happen it is, unfortunately, a fact of l ife for everyone. Usually people break down because so much is piling up ontop of them to where they feel there is no escape, and no answer to their problem (s) but the one thing I know is you are stronger than your belief system... you can and will get through whatever it is your going through. You can't have victory without conflict, you can't have healing without sickness and you can't understand pleasure without pain.

I have alot going on in my life right now, to where I reached my breaking point this week. I have been here before, therefore I knew how to handle myself in the situation I am in. Before I would hide and shut people out of my life, I didn't want to deal with the world at all, but now I know that I can't do that, I lean on my friends shoulders to cry, to vent, to release some of the preasures that are being put upon me. Crying is one of my outlets.. I'll have a good cry and then I wipe away my tears, and I do what I have to do, my other outlet is writing, whether its in my blog or in my journal I write, it helps clear my mind and keeps me focused on what I need to do rather than what I rather be doing.

I am one who thinks she can fix everything, and if I can't then I worry or I stress myself out. After talking to a few people in my life they all seem to be telling me the same thing. "Evoney you need to learn to be selfish at times, think about yourself and your own well being first". As hard as this is for me im finally saying okay!

I know that if I want to move forward in life happy I need to release the old and let go of certain things in my past and current situations in order to achieve that ultimate goal.... Happiness!


Til Next Time
xoxo

People's Opinions..... Do we really care?

Wow, this is a tough one for all of us. What does it mean, exactly, not let someone "get" to us. It could literally mean, how I keep this person out of my friend yard; but in this context we're probably looking at something a little less dramatic. We're talking about not letting people anger you through either objectively immature, rude behavior, or something you can't stand about them that doesn't really point to a personality flaw, sometimes you just have to learn to brush people off. Granted some of these people with negative opinions can be extremely toxic.

The most important thing to remember is that you have the power to stop a toxic person. You do this by controlling your own actions and reactions. As you probably already know, you cannot control the actions of other people. But the good thing is you can control yourself and your life. You have the power to walk away from a toxic person and not allow them into your life anymore. Freedom is a wonderful and liberating experience. once you let someone's opinion of you be just that... their opinion you will feel ten times better.

Granted we are all human and we all have feelings and my first knee jerk reaction to someone with a negative opinion of me would be for me to tell them to "Fuck Off" but when you really think about it even saying remarks like that will still give them the power because they still effected you in some way shape or form, but instead just ignore them and continue doing you and being who you are. As long as you don't lose yourself in being wrapped up in what other people think, then you will be just fine. I know it's easier said than done, but when you think about it if all someone does is point out the negatives in everything you do, or always says mean things or acts in a negative manner all together than something is going on deep down inside with them, they aren't happy with themselves or their lives, they are just miserable people and they attack on the next to make them feel better or to make their lives seem so much better. But once you show these types of people that their words can't effect you anymore than you have won and that feeling to me is the best feeling in the world, to know that someone else can't effect how you are feeling.

So just remember someone's negative opinion is just that.... their opinion. Brush yourself off and keep going!

Til Next time
XoXo

Little Things Life Throws your way....

As I sit here I have so many things going through my head, some happy, some sad, some things that bother me, so this blog is gonna consist of different random topics.. Please feel free to comment .


When Life throws you a curve ball:

Too many times we think our happiness is based on our circumstances or situations that we find ourselves in. We think if everything is going well things are “ Good” and we are allowed to be happy. If things aren’t going good, then life is all “ Bad” and we cant find joy in anything that happens no matter how small. But, I have come to the conclusion that life is not meant to be that way. Life is what you make of it. Most of us have heard the saying “ When life throws you a lemon-you need to make lemonade”; meaning that when life is sour, and nothing seems to be going right, you can make the best out of that situation. Make lemonade!
Trials are going to come. Valleys and circumstances will come to us all. Whether you’re a Christian whether you are not. Life is just that, a road of ups and downs.

I try to keep a smile on my face at all times. Everything in my life isnt peaches n cream, I am a single mother of 2 boys with little to no help but I'm doing it, my kids have nice clothes on their backs, shoes on their feet a roof over their head and food to eat, & thats more than I can say for people who aren't in my situation, we are all human and get angry and upset from time to time, I have bills that I swear will never end or i'll never get out of the financial bind that I am in but I have learned not to let certain individuals get to me and certain circumstances hold me back. I have to keep moving and do the best I can and pray that everything will work out in the end.

Love & Happiness:

I am at a point in my life where I am content where things are at when it comes to my happiness. Granted things could be better but for the most part im not complaining I feel as long as I am smiling and I am content with the way things are going then anyone else's opinion doesn't even matter to me. I have love in my heart and I feel joyful and im just overall happy... someone close to me recently told me Love comes in different ways... he was right... you can't stop love from happening, when it comes and it's REAL then if it was meant to be it will be. I am soo used to pre planning things out, wanting to know the outcome of every situation and rushing things before its time.. but once I stopped, analyzed certain situations and starting taking things slowly everything started making alot more sense.

Single & Dating:

OMG!! Being single and dating in todays world is such a disaster.. at least for me it is... first of all what the hell is a date? I haven't been on one in sooo long and when you do get guys that are interested in you or claim to be, the first initial conversation is sexual?!?! That is such a turn off more than you know. Whatever happend with going to a nice movie and dinner then getting dropped back off and maybe hoping for a 2nd date? Now they be expecting you to give up the booty for a 10 dollar movie and maybe a 20-30 dollar meal.. Umm last time I checked I was not a hooker and If I was I wouldnt work for a free meal and a freakin movie...like are you serious? But that is even if you get asked out on a date... all these guys want to talk about is when can they come over? Ummm how about you can't... So I've pretty much given up on the whole dating thing and that one person who knows what it is... well.... knows what it is....

And remember Happiness is never stopping to think if you are....

Til Next Time
xoxo

Letting things get to you!

have had to deal with many things in my life ... most I have had absolutely no control over. Learning how to accept the things that cannot be changed can be difficult and quite painful.

Be strong and hold on! Understand things happen to everyone of us. Many of them are beyond our control. Whatever the situation may be, God has a way of giving us the courage we need to face whatever the giant is we are facing in our life. Grieve then give yourself time to heal. Be sensitive to your own needs. It's okay to feel pain and grieve. Don't hold it in or try to tuck it away, as though it never happened, for it will do more harm than good and will not go away. Instead, it will deepen and worsen, as it results in a destructive pattern in your life. There is a time for mourning, but there is also a time to release the pain.

Don't blame yourself. We all have battles, challenges and in many cases horrible situations you feel could have been prevented with the ifs. I blamed myself for the many actions of others and thought if I had have .... or .... they would not have done what was done. But in reality, they were the ones with the problem, and they were miserable in their own self. It took me a long time to realize it was not me - but them. Make a adamant choice to die to the thing(s) that seek to control your emotions and life. In other words, choose to let it go by not thinking on the thing(s) or situation(s). When you constantly think and meditate on the pain and/or negative situation, you will begin to feel heavy in heart, depressed and caught up in a cycle that will grow with intensity and not stop until it devours and destroys you, your life and everything around you. In other words your negative energy will start rubbing people the wrong way and it will drain the life out of you.

I've came to the conclusion that I can't change certain circumstances in my life, so I have to go with the flow and let certain situations be. I cannot change how other people think nor can I make someone change their ways. All I know is I can start with changing how I react to every situation I come accross. For every action there is a reaction, and I choose to react with a more positive approach. Being angry and bitter and depressed about every situation will take the life out of you. So why not wake up every morning happy and full of life. and just let things fall into place. I am in a more happy place where I am not letting the BS life throws our way get me down and I am doing what I need to do that makes me and happy as well as my two children.

Til Next time
xoxo

R.E.S.P.E.C.T.

The common phrase "treat people the way you want to be treated" asserts that by treating people the way you want to be treated, they will treat you the same way, right?

It seems simple enough, but there is a large percentage that demand respect but don't have any clue on how to give it. It's not a matter of someone liking or disliking you but just showing the same respect you would want someone to give you.

I like to live by the 3 R's:

Rspect for self
Respect for others
Responsibility for all your actions

The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, the education, the money, than circumstances, than failure, than success, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company, a church, a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We can’t change our past, we can’t change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We can’t change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I say from time to time that life is 10% of what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. And so is it with you. We are in charge of our attitudes.

How many times have you heard someone say, Life is not fair! It is not about whether life is fair or not; it is about the reality of what has happened. Life may not be fair, but life is life. Things will happen without your permission. You will find yourself in situations you didn't plan on being a part of. Yes, you will be handed a left turn when you had planned on going straight. But if life knocks you down you have to be able to get back up again. But when you are handed a left turn instead of the right turn you wanted to take try to keep a positive outlook on life remember to treat the people who care about you with respect. You can't be 100% all the time but pushing the people who care about and your situation isnt going to make the situation go away or make it any better if anything it will make it worse, pretty soon you will have no one to lean on when you need to. sometimes the people who are about you may not have the answers you are looking for but the fact they are there for moral support is what matters the most. so again remember to always treat people with the same exact respect you would want them to treat you with.

Til Next Time
xoxo

Is it Real or Is it Fake?

Do you really know when someone your dealing with is being real or being fake? So many people contradict themselves stating that they are real and they keep it 100 etc. But do they really?

Keeping it real means: Staying true to yourself, your faith, your life and constantly seeking the truth. So with this said if you absolutely don't like somone or may not care for someone don't do them any favors by smiling up in their face cause all it shows at the end of the day is your fake and aren't trustworthy. Loyalty is huge in my book. staying true and being honest. I am a very loyal and trustworthy person and I feel if I am loyal and honest towards you, I deserve the same exact respect. It gets under my skin when someone knows they don't care for you and they aren't trying to mess with you on a friendly level but continue to act like they are. Don't act like your coo with me but act standoffish or distant just be "Real". How do you react to situations like this? Do you just sit back and continue to let it happen? Or do you confront them about it? Seems like a lose lose situation to me. I feel whether the outcome doesn't pan out the way you would have hoped to still speak what is on your mind, there is no need in boddling up mixed feelings for them to burst out at the wrong time. But always stay true to yourself. Don't continue to be in a situation you know you don't want to be in.

Now and days you can only trust within yourself, its sad but extremely true. I have had my own bloodline stab me in my back, I have had friendships that lasted for 10 plus years crumble to the ground all due to the fact people are not true, and were "fake" from the start. It can take years to build trust but only seconds to break. Someone once told me for every minute you stay angry with someone, you lose 60 seconds of happiness that you can't get back. I will not allow someone else's actions to continue to bring my spirits down and make me unhappy. You don't have to love me, you don't even have to like me but the one thing you will do is repsect me especially if I am giving you that same respect.

I have said this time and time before but You have to trust yourself to know more than what you think you do. Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.and most importantly stay true to yourself, if you don't you can't expect the next person to.

Til Next Time
xoxo