Lifetime of happiness and Goals!

All of us have dreams. All of us wish we could be someone we aren’t today.
Just like poor little Pinocchio, wishing he was a “real boy”. The question is; will a star grant our dreams? From what I have learned I think that if you wait for your dreams to come true on their own, it will be a long wait. On the other hand if you take charge and make things happen for yourself, it can go very quickly. In order to make your dreams come true you have to set goals for yourself, whether it be short term or long term, prioritizing your life is a great way to jump start that dream your chasing. Make sure you focus on your goal. Don’t let yourself be distracted by opportunities that pull you away from your dream, even if it seems too good to say no to, if it isn’t your dream it is not worth doing. Unless of course the offer is of the magnitude that it completely changes your dreams!

Things will not go as you hope, you will have setbacks and you might even notice that what you want now isn’t the same as what you wanted only a few months ago. That is okay!
Be ready to change, adapt and grow as a person and let your dreams grow as well.

When you’re worried about something, your thoughts start chasing each other round your head and don’t let up. You run the same scenarios through over and over, as if practicing them would make them turn out right. Sometimes they’re in the past, sometimes in the future, but in either case – worrying about them isn’t going to fix anything. It’s just going to keep your thoughts in a groove they can’t get out of, upset you, keep you awake at night, and limit your creative response to the situation, and distract you from your goals in life.

This was me last night, even tho I walk around with a smile on my face everyday some of the things I have going on in my life, keep me from thinking clearly and I get to feeling like my goals I want accomplished aren't going to happen. I get discouraged as a parent sometimes thinking am I doing a good enough job? am I too hard on my boys? do they have enough in life to make them happy? and even tho I laid in the bed thinking about all the negative things, I turned around and starting thinking about the positive things, I am in my boys life 100% of the time, I work extremely hard to make sure they won't see any kind of struggle, One thing I know is that a negative thought process will weigh you down and take a toll on you. I have said this before and I will say it again "Although you cannot control many things in this world, and especially other people, one important factor of happiness is accepting that which you cannot change. What you can change however, is how you feel. Even if things are bad, you can still be happy, you can still choose to smile, and you can still choose to see it as a test that you have to get through in order for things to get better."

Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

Til next time
xoxo

What went wrong?!?!

What went wrong in todays society? Is being a mother not the "it" thing to do anymore? the percentage rate for dead beat mothers is actually higher than then deadbeat fathers. Census figures show only 57 percent of moms required to pay child support 385,000 women out of a total of 674,000 give up some or all of the money they owe. That leaves some 289,000 "deadbeat" mothers out there, a fact that has barely been reported in the media.

What's even more sad is the women I come accross are just giving up not even trying to be the parent they are suppose to be. It's bad enough there are alot of children out here in the world without their fathers but now we have to add their mothers into the mix? I'm alot harder when it comes to terms with deadbeat mothers because it's our body we chose to bare the child for 9 long hard months to only give up and not try? Its a selfish move on their part. I had my first child when I was 17 years old summer of 2000 going into my senior year and I chose to have my child and I busted my ass to make sure he was taken care of and find it selfish, disrespectful and just pathetic for a mother to not want to nuture, protect, and watch her child grow up into anything they want to be in life. I cherish every moment with my kids I have 2 boys now 4 years apart and yes granted some days may be harder then some but I wouldnt trade them in for anything in the world.

The one thing I noticed is alot of these mothers have their priorities messed up. How can you not want to support your child but stay with your hair, nails and feet did, stay in the latest fashions and be at every party Monday-Sunday? This goes to the mothers out there that may have custody of their kids as well, but still aren't parenting their kids because they are gone more then they are home. I get it, we need breaks my boys go to their dads every other weekend and thats when I get my free time but every weekend? or hell some of them is even at the weekday parties, I make it a point to spend quality time with my boys, movie nights, we go outdoors and do activities, we have game nights etc all the little things that will make a difference when they get older, Im not saying all this to make it seem like im better then anyone cause I am far from it, but all I know is how you raise your children now will make a difference in how they act and raise their children in the future.

Til Next time
xoxo

Realize What You Have When you Have it!

This isn't a man bashing blog but im mainly speaking to my ladies out here only because I am a woman and I can relate when speaking in terms of a guy.. but this can go both ways cause us women mess up as well...

How often do we as women go back and forth with a man that we love in the hopes that he will one day be true, appreciate us, or just get his act together? Whatever the issue may be, we struggle with him in hopes of it coming into fruition but at last, it does not. After realizing that you are at fault as well for wasting so much time and energy on the relationship you are forced to put on your soldier of love armor and proceed into the jungles of the dating world.

There is no clear explanation as to why a man does not appreciate the woman he has until he no longer has her. It is as if it does not connect with them until much after. By then it is too late. She is no longer interested or has moved on. Some say this concept is human nature. Now, I am not talking about ALL men because obviously not all men are foolish but it remains a mystery on the ones who are.

There is a quote I posted that said: " One day he\she will wake up and realize how amazing you really were and when that day comes you'll be waking up next to someone who already knew!!

So cherish the one you are with, don't take anyone for granted and treat them as you would want to be treated because that woman name Karma!! She can be a cold bitch!!!!

Til Next Time
xoxo

Breaking Point!

Breaking point... everyone goes through them... but how do we move on.. how do we get passed the hurt, the pain, the stress, the anger, all of the emotions that comes with breaking down? In life we know that bad things will happen it is, unfortunately, a fact of l ife for everyone. Usually people break down because so much is piling up ontop of them to where they feel there is no escape, and no answer to their problem (s) but the one thing I know is you are stronger than your belief system... you can and will get through whatever it is your going through. You can't have victory without conflict, you can't have healing without sickness and you can't understand pleasure without pain.

I have alot going on in my life right now, to where I reached my breaking point this week. I have been here before, therefore I knew how to handle myself in the situation I am in. Before I would hide and shut people out of my life, I didn't want to deal with the world at all, but now I know that I can't do that, I lean on my friends shoulders to cry, to vent, to release some of the preasures that are being put upon me. Crying is one of my outlets.. I'll have a good cry and then I wipe away my tears, and I do what I have to do, my other outlet is writing, whether its in my blog or in my journal I write, it helps clear my mind and keeps me focused on what I need to do rather than what I rather be doing.

I am one who thinks she can fix everything, and if I can't then I worry or I stress myself out. After talking to a few people in my life they all seem to be telling me the same thing. "Evoney you need to learn to be selfish at times, think about yourself and your own well being first". As hard as this is for me im finally saying okay!

I know that if I want to move forward in life happy I need to release the old and let go of certain things in my past and current situations in order to achieve that ultimate goal.... Happiness!


Til Next Time
xoxo

People's Opinions..... Do we really care?

Wow, this is a tough one for all of us. What does it mean, exactly, not let someone "get" to us. It could literally mean, how I keep this person out of my friend yard; but in this context we're probably looking at something a little less dramatic. We're talking about not letting people anger you through either objectively immature, rude behavior, or something you can't stand about them that doesn't really point to a personality flaw, sometimes you just have to learn to brush people off. Granted some of these people with negative opinions can be extremely toxic.

The most important thing to remember is that you have the power to stop a toxic person. You do this by controlling your own actions and reactions. As you probably already know, you cannot control the actions of other people. But the good thing is you can control yourself and your life. You have the power to walk away from a toxic person and not allow them into your life anymore. Freedom is a wonderful and liberating experience. once you let someone's opinion of you be just that... their opinion you will feel ten times better.

Granted we are all human and we all have feelings and my first knee jerk reaction to someone with a negative opinion of me would be for me to tell them to "Fuck Off" but when you really think about it even saying remarks like that will still give them the power because they still effected you in some way shape or form, but instead just ignore them and continue doing you and being who you are. As long as you don't lose yourself in being wrapped up in what other people think, then you will be just fine. I know it's easier said than done, but when you think about it if all someone does is point out the negatives in everything you do, or always says mean things or acts in a negative manner all together than something is going on deep down inside with them, they aren't happy with themselves or their lives, they are just miserable people and they attack on the next to make them feel better or to make their lives seem so much better. But once you show these types of people that their words can't effect you anymore than you have won and that feeling to me is the best feeling in the world, to know that someone else can't effect how you are feeling.

So just remember someone's negative opinion is just that.... their opinion. Brush yourself off and keep going!

Til Next time
XoXo

Little Things Life Throws your way....

As I sit here I have so many things going through my head, some happy, some sad, some things that bother me, so this blog is gonna consist of different random topics.. Please feel free to comment .


When Life throws you a curve ball:

Too many times we think our happiness is based on our circumstances or situations that we find ourselves in. We think if everything is going well things are “ Good” and we are allowed to be happy. If things aren’t going good, then life is all “ Bad” and we cant find joy in anything that happens no matter how small. But, I have come to the conclusion that life is not meant to be that way. Life is what you make of it. Most of us have heard the saying “ When life throws you a lemon-you need to make lemonade”; meaning that when life is sour, and nothing seems to be going right, you can make the best out of that situation. Make lemonade!
Trials are going to come. Valleys and circumstances will come to us all. Whether you’re a Christian whether you are not. Life is just that, a road of ups and downs.

I try to keep a smile on my face at all times. Everything in my life isnt peaches n cream, I am a single mother of 2 boys with little to no help but I'm doing it, my kids have nice clothes on their backs, shoes on their feet a roof over their head and food to eat, & thats more than I can say for people who aren't in my situation, we are all human and get angry and upset from time to time, I have bills that I swear will never end or i'll never get out of the financial bind that I am in but I have learned not to let certain individuals get to me and certain circumstances hold me back. I have to keep moving and do the best I can and pray that everything will work out in the end.

Love & Happiness:

I am at a point in my life where I am content where things are at when it comes to my happiness. Granted things could be better but for the most part im not complaining I feel as long as I am smiling and I am content with the way things are going then anyone else's opinion doesn't even matter to me. I have love in my heart and I feel joyful and im just overall happy... someone close to me recently told me Love comes in different ways... he was right... you can't stop love from happening, when it comes and it's REAL then if it was meant to be it will be. I am soo used to pre planning things out, wanting to know the outcome of every situation and rushing things before its time.. but once I stopped, analyzed certain situations and starting taking things slowly everything started making alot more sense.

Single & Dating:

OMG!! Being single and dating in todays world is such a disaster.. at least for me it is... first of all what the hell is a date? I haven't been on one in sooo long and when you do get guys that are interested in you or claim to be, the first initial conversation is sexual?!?! That is such a turn off more than you know. Whatever happend with going to a nice movie and dinner then getting dropped back off and maybe hoping for a 2nd date? Now they be expecting you to give up the booty for a 10 dollar movie and maybe a 20-30 dollar meal.. Umm last time I checked I was not a hooker and If I was I wouldnt work for a free meal and a freakin movie...like are you serious? But that is even if you get asked out on a date... all these guys want to talk about is when can they come over? Ummm how about you can't... So I've pretty much given up on the whole dating thing and that one person who knows what it is... well.... knows what it is....

And remember Happiness is never stopping to think if you are....

Til Next Time
xoxo

Letting things get to you!

have had to deal with many things in my life ... most I have had absolutely no control over. Learning how to accept the things that cannot be changed can be difficult and quite painful.

Be strong and hold on! Understand things happen to everyone of us. Many of them are beyond our control. Whatever the situation may be, God has a way of giving us the courage we need to face whatever the giant is we are facing in our life. Grieve then give yourself time to heal. Be sensitive to your own needs. It's okay to feel pain and grieve. Don't hold it in or try to tuck it away, as though it never happened, for it will do more harm than good and will not go away. Instead, it will deepen and worsen, as it results in a destructive pattern in your life. There is a time for mourning, but there is also a time to release the pain.

Don't blame yourself. We all have battles, challenges and in many cases horrible situations you feel could have been prevented with the ifs. I blamed myself for the many actions of others and thought if I had have .... or .... they would not have done what was done. But in reality, they were the ones with the problem, and they were miserable in their own self. It took me a long time to realize it was not me - but them. Make a adamant choice to die to the thing(s) that seek to control your emotions and life. In other words, choose to let it go by not thinking on the thing(s) or situation(s). When you constantly think and meditate on the pain and/or negative situation, you will begin to feel heavy in heart, depressed and caught up in a cycle that will grow with intensity and not stop until it devours and destroys you, your life and everything around you. In other words your negative energy will start rubbing people the wrong way and it will drain the life out of you.

I've came to the conclusion that I can't change certain circumstances in my life, so I have to go with the flow and let certain situations be. I cannot change how other people think nor can I make someone change their ways. All I know is I can start with changing how I react to every situation I come accross. For every action there is a reaction, and I choose to react with a more positive approach. Being angry and bitter and depressed about every situation will take the life out of you. So why not wake up every morning happy and full of life. and just let things fall into place. I am in a more happy place where I am not letting the BS life throws our way get me down and I am doing what I need to do that makes me and happy as well as my two children.

Til Next time
xoxo